...silence...

kind of tired of waking up in some kind of pain, i have to admit.  getting older, getting old in reality, means things don't work as well as they used to.  and eventually, it means some things won't work at all.  there's no point in self-deception about such things.  but, no one told me it would be like  this.  waking with cramps every day, in my legs, my feet.  getting out of the bed barely able to mobilize until i get several steps in and my legs remember how to move.  it's very frustrating, but i try not to get too far into that mindset...because it's bound to get worse.

i heard a bunch of scuffing and moving, and my parents are on their way.  i said a prayer for their safe journey, and i was not called to help load up so i'm assuming they had it handled, whomever was taking them to the airport.  i don't know.  i would happily have come down, but again, the morning struggles are, at least in my life, epic.

yesterday was confrontational for the most part.  the situation with the resident vs the case manager had to be resolved once and for all.  the resident doesn't understand that he got off because the burden of his guilt was not great enough, therefore something will happen soon enough that will be sufficient to hobble him for a bit.  the case manager doesn't realize that he really was motivated more by race than by issue, and that is going to make him bitter and sullen, and this will become a repeat situation as time goes on.  and perhaps i don't realize, but perhaps i do, that there is too much dynamic in this job, that what should be a simple thing, a linear track of policy and implementation, is instead a myriad of complex unspoken rules that are constantly shifting.  too much thought always kills creativity.

today there's a meeting at noon, there's lunch with Lonnie and i'm really hoping for some time with Rachel.  i want to start some writing.  i've very much wanting to get my life back on track.  but i've had my meds, called about my missing prescriptions, and i'm going to go have coffee and breakfast now.  i am grateful to my Father for this day, and perhaps i'll log more later.