Remainder

when you reach a point where darkness encroaches everywhere you look, and you are on the last vestiges of hope that you possess, you have to grab on to something...damn near anything...to remind you that you are of a value that cannot be measured, that you have survived calamities you do not even know existed, and that you are precious, not only in the eyes of your Creator, but also in the eyes of many of your Terran brothers and sisters.  it is imperative that the human animal knows this.

today i got up and said my prayer.  my legs were cramping, my heart was dark, but i said my prayer.  i took forever getting it in gear.  i eventually got down the steps to the basement, where i found the synth part i did for Everytime the Phone Rings, and i added it and remixed around it.  then i took my meds and came up to have breakfast.

i ate, i set it down to watch some television, i checked my bank accounts, and i chilled.  i hadn't decided whether i was going to go to work or not, as i did the day before also.  i can only thank Jehovah for the forward momentum, because it has been beyond me to do any more than lay on this uncomfortable futon and try to just explore.

work was okay.  i didn't allow any great fusses to be made, and the day moved along fast enough.  tomorrow, i'm going to leave it in the same Hands that have been moving me along so far.  i don't need to control how things are; i only need to pick a path and walk it to the best of my ability.  i am really sleepy now, and i'm not going to try to stay in this writing.  just going to say that everything heals eventually, if its what a person wants and will allow themselves to.  eyes keep closing.  thank you, Jehovah.  i'm going to be okay.  good night.