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Monday, July 24, 2017

...sigh...rebuilding again...

the sadness continues, but its not the worst i've ever felt.  it's strange when such a realization becomes a philosophical point of whether that's a bad thing or a good thing.

i've not heard from Rachel, and that's not surprising.  i saw her mom at the store today, and that also isn't surprising.  i wanted to ask her mother about her trip, and in fact did, but the pleasantry was the extent of the exchange.  likely that was for the best.

today i got up and i said my prayer and i got my shit together and i went to the gym.  i decided some days ago that i had to get my shit moving again, and this being a monday i ran out of excuses to not go.  i just did some weight work today, i'm planning on going tomorrow and i'll see then what comes next.  but the fact is, i went today.  i got up when the alarm went off, i got my ass into my gym clothes and went to the gym.

currently, i'm cooking some greens.  collards and turnips.  i've done a meat loaf that has to be properly dressed and i'm going to take some smashed potatoes as well.  i love to cook, it is very meditative.  thinking about the parameters of a wedding soup for the rest of the greens.

work is as chaotic as always, but payday is coming.

i hurt, but i'm moving.  i guess that's about the size of the story, when you get right down to it.

thank you, Jehovah, for life.

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