Process of Progression...maybe.

experimenting with some camera photography, using an old large candle jar lid as a distortion mirror, getting an interesting effect, going to try some outside and people photography with it pretty soon.  like i said, the creative bug is not gone, but it is definitely compartmentalized at the moment.

this is an update, for my own records, i suppose.  today i feel some better.  there is still a gout/neuropathy flare up in the left foot, on the outer sole, that seems to be hardwired into my back.  however, i am going to work today.  i am not a shirker; i do what i am paid to do when i am able to the extent that i can.  i am still taking the Prednisone and will be taking some Tylenol shortly, to help me maintain for the next 8 hours.  but there are developments.

for starters, i am not terminated.  which is a cool thing.  i hate default conclusions; have the balls to follow through, to make a decision and stick to it.  i am happier with myself when i make a decision, even if its a wrong one, than if i wait and have something happen to take the decision out of my hands.  i believe some form of character should always be under development, but that's me.  but i'm not fired.  my Ops Supervisor evidently got the message and he followed through with it, and i am thankful to my God and to CCA, because the process of getting to the right building is hell.

secondly, i talked to the overall director of operations today, and had a chance, FINALLY, to explain what's going on with me.  we'll talk more later, but she asked if i thought i might do better in a smaller facility.  i'd love to just say 'yes', but if you live long enough you hopefully learn to not just leap when someone says there's a lifeboat...you have to confirm it's not actually a trap.  to wit, until i know what my doctor concludes, any lateral movement could net the same results.  i mostly am on a one level unit now, except for fridays, when they put me back on the 3 floor facility.  but every day, since i started, its been the same thing.  and i've managed for the most part, but not well.  and, as she stated very cordially, which i appreciate, the main concern is my health.  that is MY main concern, but it's nice to hear your boss say so as well.  but i know their concern is coverage, and i don't blame them.  i simply don't want to be the guy who's seen as the unguarded door.  i don't want things to go haywire on my watch.  and i don't want my being incapacitated, to any extent, to have dire consequences for my co-workers.  that would haunt me.

so, i'm going to get up shortly, get my ass together, already had my shower and shave.  i'm going to get dressed, figure out my lunch, hit a couple places along the way to fill up the ol' lunch bucket, and make my way to work.  did it on my back, but i got over the hump.  that's the business, amigo.  thank you, Jehovah, for caring for me and helping me value myself more.