over the hump, again

at times the world shows you things, and it tests your level of perception.  for many people, that is the scariest time of the day, but for others, it is a moment of pure beauty, contained in that heartbeat between a thing being one thing and becoming another.  and if you're quick, you can get it and hold it, figure out what it is and what it's for, and learn from it before it is gone forever.  i love those moments.

i didn't log yesterday, because i'm still working on recovering from Friday.  yes, i'm that out of condition for doing this kind of thing. doing the tiers, even on a limited capacity, is just strenuous.  but i got through it, and i'm on the A side now, which is much easier.

but, about yesterday, there's not much to report.  i didn't do any early traveling, as i did on Sunday when i took this picture of Rachel and her 'granddaughter'.  the parenthesis is because it is a strange situation which i won't go on with here.  anyway, i just laid in bed, did prayer and read my daily scripture, and had breakfast.  i made my mother a breakfast sandwich, and i went back to bed.  i did leave a bit earlier, because i had to pick up some lunch.  i've been doing very heavy carbs and have not been to the gym in ages, so i had to go lighter at work.  went lighter at breakfast too, now that i think about it.

so, i went to work, and things were okay.  met most of the new staff over the past two days, learned some different things, and am communicating more, if not better, with the residents.  it's all good.

i am four days in today, it's good to be able to say that i've got one day of work left.  it's also good to think in terms of what i want to do on my days off.  but there's still that part of me that misses having my time structured around being who i was just two months ago.  Syd going to school.  me getting up to go to the gym.  writing and putting ideas down.  composing music and commercials and thinking of the future and what help i could get for things i was working on.  getting over the hump ain't always what you want it to be, that's for sure.

but i'm grateful. sometimes, i don't feel like i am.  speaking to Lonnie today, i realize i miss having my space, my feng shui, where my energy flow was paramount and where the creativity was a part of my existence.  i miss that like a motherfucker.  but i am grateful.  my parents are functioning.  the house moves along.  and work ain't too bad.  so, thank you Father, and now i get my ass going to get it to where it needs to be.