so today was sort of a busy day, though it was my day off. i knew it would be, and that's not the worst thing. but i can't get my mind clear of Rachel, and i suppose that's only natural. i'm working on it though. maybe i'll take some pics in a few days, but i have no smiles at this point.
i got up and said my prayer and got it shaking. got a good bath in, epsom soak with bubble bath. the gabapentin helped, but i still can't do too many of those. i gathered clothes, got myself together, and got ready for my doctor's appointment. i did one load of clothes and figured on doing the remainder when i got home. i had wrestled through the night with paying Rachel's phone bell one last time, but i didn't. i knew if i paid it it would be stabbing myself on contingency; i'd feel shitty if i paid it and she didn't call me, and i'd only be paying it so that she could call me if she wanted to. if she'd wanted to call me she could have done it before now.
my brother came by to wash his truck and i was leaving as he was getting started but i gave his grandsons a pack of cookies to share. i had taken the trash to the curb for tomorrow already, and had a doctor's appointment at 1015 this morning.
i got there right on time but still had to wait, which brought my blood pressure up because i was on a tight time schedule. wednesday is noon meeting day and i had to get back to the south side from warren. doc said nothing showed wrong, just showed elevated uric acid levels. i got out of there and headed south, having alerted a friend that i'd be running late. when i got there, there was enough time to get another pot of coffee on and set up just before we started, and we did end up with a new secretary by voice vote, so there's that.
from there, i went downtown to have lunch with Lonnie. we went to a place called Christopher's and it was interesting. would be a nice place for a poetry read. i enjoyed my lunch, but Lonnie did not. we hung out at Mill Creek afterward for a couple hours until it was time for my work meeting. that was exceptionally stupid. apparently, a skinhead contingency is alive and well in the place i work, and they are planning static. but there is no plan in place on how to deal with that, which gives me concern. no riot plan, nothing on the books for what to do if the residents (inmates) decide to just start tearing up shit. and i think, being that we know they are criminally incarcerated, should be a given. i voiced as much, but i don't think it did much good.
i stopped at Sav-a-lot to get stuff for dinner and to round out what i needed for this wedding soup i'm working on. i ate, but my aunt did not, which continues to weird me out. why does anyone need an invitation to eat? just fried chicken, rice and gravy and greens. nothing fancy, but i know what i'll be eating tomorrow.
i'm working on a song, so at least i'm working on something. i have to get out from under this dark cloud. i can't really write yet, but that's not the most important thing. i'm alive, i'm relatively pain free, i had a good enough day, i'm sober, and i'm grateful. i thank my Father for these blessings. and i'm done for now. that' was my day.
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