very long day

a day spent mostly waiting.  running for peoples.  doing family things.  working on acceptance.  life on life's terms.  nothing you can do some days but use your energy sparingly, get through the fracas and rest your mind afterward.

i got up early, but was moving slow with no gym to worry about.  i made and had coffee and water, took a shower, shaved carefully (no cuts), made my mom coffee and did some work on the outline.  not in that order.  i read my daily scripture on the phone, but not my bible or my meditation books.  i had a list of things accumulate on me, but the details weren't as bad as the time constraints.  Dad getting pupils dilated, shouldn't be a long, long process but i was stuck in that for 2 hours.  then taking Syd to the store while getting stuff for my Mom.  then waiting for the cable people to come.  some days prove themselves to be longer than the sum of minutes, hours and seconds.  they prove that time is relative, and that it is not linear, but cyclical.  regardless, it was a very long day.

the longest part, to be honest here, was finding that my sister has moved into my grandparent's house... and my cousin has moved out.  i will state this here:  this was done as a way to get me pissed.  it was my cousin being an asshole, and likely my sister as well.  i say this here because i'm in the process of letting it go.  i won't be a spoiled child, ranting and raving because i didn't get my way.  i will accept that i am right where i'm supposed to be at this moment, that caring for my parents to the extent i can is more beneficial than being in that house.  i will trust God, who has never failed me and never let me down.  and things will work out for the best for me, if i continue seeking to do the right things.  i believe this.

Rachel is going through things.  Lonnie is cool enough.  Life on Life's terms.  and i am clean, sober and thoughtful and thankful.  i'm gone.