thrusters, retros and gyroscopiics

so today was one of those weird kind of days, a day where nothing seemed to be on point, though everything started out to be.

i woke a bit before my alarm and turned it off.  i said my prayers, did my readings and i came downstairs.  i moved with some deliberation.  i restarted the crock pot with the green beans, put made myself coffee, took my shower and took my meds and insulin.  i went upstairs to shave and groom, and when i came back down i got the ham into the oven.  my mom had gotten up and showered and was getting ready for the Hall.  before i could get dressed she was about ready, but she was in a lot of discomfort.  she really wasn't up to going and i wasn't going to try to force her to.  she did her lesson along with the congregation on the phone and i worked on dinner.

i didn't do the Hall, is what it comes down to.  and i did a good job with the ham, and the green beans were good, but my roasted potatoes did not happen.  had the rack too low to fit the ham in, and i didn't follow my own road-tested method of cooking them, so they ended up way too dark on the bottoms.  upset me pretty good.

i went to my meeting after i glazed the ham.  the meeting was okay, but as usual, we all read some and then only a few of us spoke.  then i went to pick up Rachel.  she was ready not long after i got there, and we came over here for dinner.  i stopped at Sav-a-Lot and got a potato salad as an alternate.
didn't matter much, because only Rachel, Mom, Dad and I were there to eat at 3.  so we ate, and Rachel's daughter called her and asked if she could get her purse from the house, as she forgot it when she left for work.  i was cool with it; i'd seen Rachel the day before, and i know how she gets when she's overexposed to people.  went to get her daughter's purse and Rachel went to Subway to get her some lunch.  we took it to her job and Rachel got her daughter's keys and we said good bye.  i came home, weary, pensive and feeling slightly dull.  too much ham, likely.

i talked to Lonnie earlier on the phone and Rachel called me not long ago.  i am going to the foot doctor tomorrow, and i need some time out of this house.  i don't mind being her as much as i wish i did, i guess, but i need to be doing discernible things, tangible things to move Z-Phyles forward.  i need to get a couple more things from the apartment; testing strips and needles, my thumb drives and my gym shoes.  i am thankful that the day was spent with love and family.  but i have to admit, i don't want to keep trying if no one really cares about getting together.  i'm not comparing one to another, but at my grandmother's house, i would see all my uncles and aunts who were in town.  we nieces and nephews, we grandchildren, were just a subdivision of a much more significant gathering.  now, it's my parents and Rachel, and maybe eventually Jerry with show up, and maybe not. and maybe Lori will come, and maybe not.  but you can only plan the plan.  The results, as always, belong to Jehovah God, and to Him i am eternally grateful.