t minus 24...

The Children

Well, it's time.  i've got my clothes packed.  i've got my mind as right as it's going to get, and i've got my mindset ready to roll.  i am nervous, and i'm not at all surprised.  still have to gather some material, but otherwise, it's going to be what it's going to be.  my prayer is that my daughter is safe, that my family is watched over and watches over each other, and that i learn what i need to learn and see what is in front of me to see.  there are stories to be found on this journey, of that i am certain.  

I feel good today. I slept long and deep last night, a good sleep.  a heavy mediation video, and i woke with the alarm.  i still felt draggy; i'm pretty sure i've got some kind of bug that is waiting to ambush me in my physiology.  but i got up, i said my prayer, i got coffee and water, my reading was good as far as my sugar, i was in my gym clothes, heated the car and read a scripture and my meditation books.  then i took off for the gym.

i was having some questioning thoughts on the treadmill today.  a couple ladies i'd not seen in at that time before, one came in right behind me, first wave.  she had two pairs of gym shoes; one for weights and one for the treadmill.  she also had bluetooth headphones, the only other person than myself i've seen with them on.  what i noticed most was that she seemed to keep watching where i was.  then i realized; she'd left her phone atop her gym bag and was checking up on it.  but i was the closest to it.  

her friend came in and she came up front to the treadmills.  she changed shoes and got on the treadmill next to mine.  they were speaking, and i believe they work at the JCC.  but the one who came in after me, other than making sure her stuff was okay, never even looked in my direction.  and i don't mean she had to; pleasantries cost nothing, and a friend or an ally can be made with a simple hello.  of course, i didn't speak to her either, but she was an intruder in my time slot.  and it made me think...are we really strangers like that these days?  have these times redrawn enemy lines between skins, scriptures and societies, or have we simply kept them moderately maintained and now are acutely aware of them again?  i did my walk and left, and talked to the woman at the front desk, who is gathering her art together and will be contacting me soon to come pick it up.  it's time to set the tone of her book, so that i can get her 'interview' done and have the writing to go with her art.  this is going to be a good thing.  

i got home and took my medicine and insulin and had breakfast.  i had gathered my business cards and flyers before i went to the gym, and i was not in a rush to just go through the rest of my stuff.  Syd had a doctor's appointment and that was the main event of the day.  we went to Akron Children's way out in Boardman and i sat in the waiting room and read James Baldwin's 'Blues for Mister Charlie', realizing i'd read it before and realizing still that James Baldwin was an amazing man and is still the north star i follow.  after Syd was done we got lunch at LaRiccia's (i think is the name) and came home.  i talked to Syd about a lot of things along the ride, just stuff that i want to make sure i get in by way of observation and instruction.  i believe they're going to do just fine, there's no way they can 'accidentally' fuck things up.  no accounting for personal drama, but that's not my concern.  anyway, we came home and i talked to Lonnie and then laid down.  my mind was going, but that's to be expected, i suppose.  

i just finished getting my clothes together, for the most part.  i'm about to go clean out my trunk, not much to do there, and i'm going to load up my clothes and my shoes.  after that, i'm going to gather my paperwork, my medicine for traveling and whatever odds and ends i can remember.  i'm going to finish loading after Syd goes to school tomorrow, but clothes go out tonight.  i have to remember to get my books, my proposition, my booklist and a few other 'sales' things together.  then tomorrow, counseling, fill in the physical application for the Lanternman's Mill position at Mill Creek, lunch with Lonnie.  then I'm highway bound.  then the sadness will war with the excitement for real, but i'll watch that internal battle on interstate 76 and 71.  Jehovah, thank you for everything.  I am truly grateful for your intercedence  on my behalf.  

Oh, and notice the book in the middle?  WAITING FOR JESUS is now in paperback.  YAY!!!