evening now...

day is coming to a close.  it's been a good day.  got some things done, which always makes me happy.  but i'm not satisfied, not even close.  got a lot to do, three quarters of my year is almost gone.  time to get it it gear.

i went to the gym this morning.  got up, said prayer, did readings, had coffee and water, blood sugar was lower than usual.  did the treadmill at the gym.  got dishes washed, made an omelet as folks were waking up here.  had my breakfast.  my dad started asking if i wanted to go to Braking Point with him to check on application status.  i told him i didn't but i would go, but when he didn't know whether he was going today or tomorrow i got moving.

went to the bank, got TF's money, as it landed in my account this morning.  got in touch, told her we could coordinate and i'd give it to her.  then i went to the library.  did my early journal as a catch-up from yesterday, put in two apps online and read some before i checked out my reserved Walter Mosley and left.  i went then to the Joe Maxx coffee shop, got a cup to go, sat downtown on a bench and took a couple pictures.  i had no real rhyme or reason; just wanted to get back in a working frame of mind.

from there i went to the park, Mill Creek.  first i went to BK, used their facilities, got a small burger and ate it in my car.  i texted TF and said i was in her vicinity.  then i went to the Flower Garden.  i was going to get some long view shots of downtown for a Youngstown Organix flyer but TF said she was heading my way.  so i laid back in my car and shut my eyes a bit.

she got there soon enough and i gave her her money.  she said she'd lay my flyers for me, so that was a good thing.  i went from there back home, stopping at the store first for some beans to cook for tomorrow.

I am very sad, hurting for my friend, though i know he doesn't want me to.  Lonnie got his dad placed in an assisted living facility today.  I talked to him before i left the park.  he said his dad had been crying the entire day, not sobbing but crying, knowing he was about to be let go.  i can't even imagine how that felt for Lonnie, but my heart is breaking for both of them.  this world sucks.  this life, the sickness, the changes, the eventual decline...it's all just pain and misery after a point.  periods, punctuation marks of brightness.  but then a new ache, a new problem, a new sickness, and that bright point is snuffed out like a matchstick in a typhoon.  i'm struggling with gratitude at the moment, honesty forces me to admit.  but i know it's not Jehovah's fault.  we are disobedient morons, and who would ever want to just keep looking after us when we seek our own destruction in a million different ways every day.  tomorrow is another day, and i'll work on gratitude then.