i have to be ready for Michigan this weekend, because the way things have been going over the past week, i need something new and productive to spark something positive in me. i feel so stalled at the moment.
and the week started so well, too...
i got up today without the gym on my alarm. i lazed for a bit, then i got up and said my prayers. my foot and ankle were working as well as they do these days and i was grateful for that. but going to sleep was with the cloud lingering overhead about the transaction for the rental with TF, and what would be awaiting me today. but the day started well. prayers, reading scripture and meditation books, taking meds and insulin and actually having a good breakfast. i had a day lined up of doing nothing; at most, designing the flyer for the trip to see if my family in Detroit can place them for me, and at the very least hanging out here until the cable guy came. i'd even put in early texts to some Fellowship guys about covering the noon meeting as best they could, that i wasn't feeling well.
so, how did the sequence begin? with the bank showing clearly that i was in the hole. not a pending transaction; a transaction to which no funds were available to cover. a 24 hour grace period to get the funds in place (Huntington Bank is cool as shit for that), but fear of financial insecurity had come back strong as hell. so i sent TF a message on FB (HATE the bullshit of talking serious business on a public forum, even in a so-called private message) that i needed the funds today. so there's that. and it is resolved, let me say that for posterity. but the problem is a misdirection in the first place.
car rentals work with your CREDIT card as the means of securing your rental fee. with a CREDIT card, you do the transaction and pay later, because if you fuck up, it's your card that will be charged, your credit will be fucked up as well, and you will be 100 percent liable. with a DEBIT card, however, different song. a DEBIT card gets transacted immediately, because that way, the money for the rental is ASSURED. which makes sense. because why wouldn't some asshole rent a car with a debit card, then go close out that account and run off with the car? legal action would follow, sure, but people are only smart enough to fuck up. so, the transaction was only pending as in it would go through the next business day, not pending until the car was returned. thing is, the misdirection of which i speak, did TF know that? i've done rental situations with TP, in which she gave me the money to put into my account so that the transaction took place without me being affected at all.
thing is, i was being nice. and in being nice, i was inconvenienced and will continue to be, i was overdrawn, and worst part is, i threw the day away because of having to get this shit straight. cancelled the cable guy. missed a lunch with TP. and it still took TF until after 2pm to get to the bank with the money. from 7 when i texted her in the am til after 2pm. pretty sure i'm running low on nice right now.
i watched some old movies, i talked to my mom, i made her breakfast, i napped. i got us both lunch. i wrote and started a new book of poetry. i talked to Lonnie. so i wouldn't say i got nothing done. but i got did as well. and, it didn't stop there exactly.
took my dad to Giant Eagle this evening to get some prescriptions and some other stuff he'd get while he's out. i decided, since my mom gave me a salad that my dad bought her, to get some dressing and a pack of already done chicken to go with it. i used my OTHER bank card...and the transaction was NOT APPROVED. didn't say 'declined', just NOT APPROVED. so i felt the simmer turn into a soft boil.
i paid with cash, got my change, sat down waiting for my dad to finish his purchase and checked my bank account, which had more than enough money, of course, or i wouldn't have tried to use the card. but i did discover that i had a transaction showing from JCC, a $20 membership fee, that i'm not supposed to have to pay since i re-registered for membership. a mistake, i know. but it adds up. emotionally, it all adds up.
on the positive side, i will be able to see VF on friday for counseling, which is very good. she is going to email the powers that be about the fee for me, which is very good. i'm supposed to see Rachel tomorrow, which is very good. but i still have to do the rental return tomorrow at some point, which is going to cut into my time with Rachel. which sucks. so, lesson learned? i pray that is the case, and I thank Jehovah God for allowing me to be taught such a character forming lesson. and for a day that was mostly pain free also. have to remember to be grateful, always.
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