online dictionary definition of resolution:
noun
1. a firm decision to do or not to do something
1a) formal expression of opinion or intention agreed on by a legislative body, committee, or other formal meeting, typically after taking a vote
1b) the quality of being determined or resolute
(resolute: admirably purposeful, determined, and unwavering)
2. the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter
2a) the passing of a discord into a concord during the course of changing harmony
2b) the disappearance of inflammation, or of any other symptom or condition
3. the process of reducing or separating something into its components
3a) the replacing of a single force or other vector quantity by two or more jointly equivalent to it
3b) the conversion of something abstract into another form
3c) in prosody, the substitution of two short syllables for one long one
(prosody:the patterns of rhythm and sound used in poetry)
4. the smallest interval measurable by a scientific (especially optical) instrument; the resolving power.
4a) the degree of detail visible in a photographic or television image
Now, what i get from that, what i gather from those definitions, is that a resolution is more than one thing. it is, in fact, several things, as most terms in the English language are. but it does have some commonality between the terms, doesn't it? and for me, the thread that i look at, the one that i see that means the most to where i am right now, is clarity.
whether that clarity is in the determination to stand on a decision to do or not to do something, or the clarity of bringing about order from disorder, or the clarity of seeing a thing clearly, either by instruments that aid the eye or breaking things down into smaller pieces, there is a need in my life for clarity in so many areas. but it doesn't start Monday. it starts at the moment that i know that i need clarity. it begins with knowing that clarity of that grade, clarity of that precision and of that kind of power, clarity that i am trying to implement in my life, can only come from much Higher than either my skill set or my pay grade, so to speak. hence, prayer, hence faith, hence action based on belief that God is taking care of me. i believe that. and i feel the blessing, the things that are coming clearer now.
today was also a good day. i got up and got moving after a decent night sleep. i was groggy, and it took me a minute, but movement began. i went into the kitchen and sat at my table to say my prayer, but i got it in, got my medicines in, got my ass in gear. i gathered things, got a pie for my counselor, got coffee to go and after warming up my car i got to counseling. i'd had breakfast before i left, so i was good in that avenue. i put gas in my car, which was a bit of a struggle mentally, because i knew i was just about out of funds. but i knew as well that i would have to act out of some faith, because things are happening and i either believe the blessing is there or i doubt and negate the blessing.
counseling was good, we discoursed things of spiritual and philosophical bent again, and i was able to share some of where i am lately, but i'm not in a bad place, so that didn't take me through too many changes. it made me feel good to have a pie for VF. she's saved my life dozens of times, and i won't go into how often she has been part of God's blessing that has gotten me through some very rough moments, even today. i can only say that i hope she enjoys the pie, as an acknowledgement of her years of service and her beneficial existence in my life.
after counseling, i went to my parent's house. i made my mom coffee, fixed her some loaded scrambled eggs, made a pot of grits that my dad could partake of if he chose to. she gave me an electric skillet which is a nice gift. i came home, i had some lunch and i got to work on the modules. i got three more done, which was a total of six out of eight. i had dinner, i watched some television, i'd checked on Lonnie over the phone, and then i decided i'd knock out another couple in order to shorten my efforts tomorrow.
and then i got a call.
the woman from the job i'd went to do the physical and BC for called and asked if i could come in tomorrow, Saturday, to do some paperwork, so they could get me started. i was hesitant, not because i don't want to, but because i am operating under a lack of actual information. i don't know what the pay is, i don't know what the actual hours are. i don't even know what my job requirements are. i know i start as a bus aide. that's all i know. but before that, as i was doing the first of the modules today, i got a call from the woman from TruGreen, because i told her i would prefer a call on Tuesday so of course they called today. i talked with her, and almost immediately i got an email stating they'd gone with someone else. and all i can say to that is, thank you, Father. because i know i have to do the follow-through on whatever you place in my path, but i have a job, 99 percent in, and i can only give credit to you for that.
so i finished the modules, i have to go to the library to print my certificate to take to this job, i should go to my parent's house to get my CPR/First Aid certificate from CCA, and i can give them my banking information. but first, i'm going to ask what the pay is. and what the hours are. and i'm going to try to make sure i have at least the Wednesday of the 31st off, since that's our anniversary meeting.
but i am still resolute. tomorrow, i start marking off the food as i log. tomorrow, i dance for sure. tomorrow, i have chores to do. all hinging, of course upon God's will to wake me up in the morning.
it's a good day. thank you, Jehovah, for your patience and your blessing. i'm gone.
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