winter and downtime

i tried to chill today, and i think for the most part i was successful.  this shot is from my upstairs bathroom window.  i saw the icicles dangling, dripping from the warming weather, and thought the scenery was cool enough to try to get a scenic snap.  i think it worked.  i love the imposing cloud in the background and the long house shadow up front. 

so, today i was out of it for a period.  i was tired, jack, tired as a motherfucker.  i barely slept last night at all, and when i did, it was very broken.  i am sure i dreamed, only because that's such a constant these days.  but i can't recall what.  i only know about 5, i got up, went to the living room, found the old Flash Gordon serial on the Roku and fell asleep to that.  and while that sleep was also broken, it was a great deal more beneficial than the night sleep attempt had been.  

but i was pretty out of it.  i got my ass moving, finally, brought my meds in to the living room and took them, and at some point i had gone upstairs and wrote quite a bit on the book, and i said my prayer while i was upstairs.  i didn't eat breakfast.  my back was killing me something awful, but i kept it moving as best i could.  my mom called, worrying about me, and my brother texted to make arrangements for tomorrow, to go pick up the food baskets from GM.  by noon i was at least working on fixing myself some lunch, or brunch, i guess, an omelet, some leftover rice and a piece of pumpernickel toast.  i watched some television but couldn't really focus, i called to reschedule my internet repair appointment for monday.  as i said, mostly i chilled today, laid around, sat around, did nothing.  trying to rest my back.  i would love to say it feels better now, but i don't know.  i used the capsaicin patch Lonnie got for me, and i guess it helped some.  i've been taking the flaxseed supplement.  i'm not going to drug myself tonight.  i'm going to get some sleep, get up about 5, get my shower in and my meds, and i'm going to go pick up this basket with my brother.  i'm going to counseling, and i'm going to hit the store, and check on my parents.  that's about the size of the whole affair, far as i can tell.  i'm tired, hoping for sleep, and grateful to God for some rest.