Forward Motion

always the wish, and sometimes the reality, and all i can do is try to hold on to the momentum, keep the legs moving and try to get as many yards as i can before they bring me down again. 

this has been a good day.  no disputing that.  its been strange, and not all of it has been good, but overall, for me anyway, its been okay. 

i got up super-early, and i'm hoping that doesn't happen again.  i mean, about 430 or so.  i was up and praying, and i couldn't get back to sleep so i got up, did my readings, and i went upstairs and did some work on my story.  got about an hour of writing done, even got the bathroom cleaned and my office swept out.  then i realized...i was still exhausted.  so i came back downstairs and went back to bed for a couple hours.  that was weird. 

when i got back up, i took my medicine and insulin and i had breakfast.  it was hard getting motivated to clean the rest, but i slowly got it done.  from the bedroom area to the living room, and the bathroom and kitchen.  got a small load of clothes washed and dried.  productive.  i communicated with Syd and Chris and my mom and brother and Lonnie.  i read more of the James Baldwin bio i got from the library.  and i heated the rest of my pizza for lunch.  i found an old Vincent Price movie (strange way to think about movies of the classic stars...ALL their movies are pretty 'old'), The Last Man on Earth, a zombie/vampire movie, really jamming those genres together.  realized i have a bit of a cold now, weather keeps shifting. 

Joshua got in touch with me and came by and we got some important shots that i need, and now i can start editing and pasting together for the 'Phone' video.  that makes me feel good.  something really moving along.  well, several things, to be honest.  i have still been putting in applications.  i've been writing.  my house is clean.  i stay in touch as best i can with the people in my life.  i'm seeking a new depth of honesty.  i'm trying to open the corridor to become...whatever it is that my God has in store for me.  i can't force anything to happen that is beneficial to me, but i can stay in the flow of change, keep my faith as high as i can and know that things are going to happen.  i can do that. 

Lonnie and his wife were rear-ended this evening.  they went to the ER.  they're both shaken up from the sound of it.  that's the not good stuff.  i've been in touch with him, i think his wife got the worst of it, but i am praying they will be okay.  this season...people just lost in the miasma of electronic distraction and apathetic stupidity.  and what's so 'holy' about that, during the so-called holidays? 

thank you, Father, for allowing me to not need that illusion, and please watch over my friends.