i woke up feeling sluggish as fuck. like i didn't want to do a thing. i'd been on my feet for the whole day more or less yesterday. had to cook, had to run, meeting, Rachel, whole nine. and no nap. so when i shut it down, i shut it down. then, i woke up, alarm went off, i turned it off and contemplated just staying in bed. but i said a prayer, a very disjointed one, but on my knees, my intent was sincere. i had on my gym clothes and was making my way down the steps. i got water, but i had to make coffee so i sipped some water and went to the gym.
i did 15 on the treadmill and some weights, as i now have to take Syd to Liberty to catch her bus. apparently her significant other feels he is going to get a resolution by a passive withdrawal of action toward the upkeep of the apartment. it dawned on me for a moment, i could fix it all by putting him out and moving...home. but it's not really home anymore. it won't ever be home again. people are using my dishes, sleeping in my bed, sitting my furniture in ungrateful mindsets. i haven't seen my paintings that i was given, i haven't lit a stick of incense, i haven't written a poem in my own environment for two months now. it's not my place. and if i fix it, Syd will not have learned what she has to learn. so, i'll take her to catch her bus. when she's sick and tired of being sick and tired, she will work to change things. ti's the way it is.
i came back home, grumpy from the run, and came to the basement. i had coffee and water, took meds and insulin and eventually went upstairs to make an omelet and toast. i gave my mom half my omelet and i ate and came back down to the basement for a few, then went to try a nap.
i didn't sleep, but i chilled until a cramp in the back of my thigh and calf had me in pain. get them from time to time. more cramps as time goes on. something deficient, but they took my potassium away. i did some deep breathing and turned it over and it eased up, so i came down the stairs and went to take care of some business.
i went to the drugstore to get a refill on this Xarelto, but they wouldn't do the free refill for me as my medicare wasn't covering it and apparently you can only use one coupon. don't know exactly, i'll have to call my cardiologist tomorrow. anyway, i have enough for the month, so i wasn't too worried about it. i went to the bank to put money in for my burial expense bill next week, went to Dollar General to get cards and supplies for the basement and i came back to the house. the rain started ejaculating again, vertical and angry. again, i am grateful because where i was parked in the driveway branches had fallen from the trees. LARGE branches. by God's grace...
i've talked to Rachel and Lonnie. i've had my dinner. i'm going to work on a poem i've been thinking of. i'm going to make chili for my family tomorrow. the only thing i can think of that's quick and easy and i can make enough for them to not have to worry about cooking for a minute. i'm starting work at 3pm tomorrow. i can't wait. i feel so excited to be getting back into earning money. I thank Jehovah God for all that i've learned, and i pray for wisdom to take it in and use it appropriately. good night.
No comments:
Post a Comment