new thing, old feeling...

I don't know.  i missed yesterday.  out of sorts, i guess to be expected.  but i can't miss too many days, and i have to re-establish a good rhythm, or even the work won't mean what it should. so, i do this, and then sweet nepenthe.

i've been in front of the computer for over 16 hours in 2 days.  it is more significant when you have to be.  i've been getting up, saying my prayers, reading my books, having my breakfast.  i've not been to the gym since monday.  i figured i'd need my reserve energy for staying up late, and i've not been wrong yet.  i've tended to my parents, making a crock pot of chili yesterday (2 day meal) and making them breakfast sandwiches today.  i've taken Syd to school.  i've been busy during the day, and i've found my napping capacity again.  seems after i do my initial burst of running, i'm back in bed.  body is smarter than i am.  if that weren't true, i wouldn't be writing now.  stupid brain.

first day was insane.  systems to learn, just log in and functionality.  password resets.  strange readings from the primary modem.  had me feeling like it was pointless, that i was stupid.  then watching course materials.  today i did much better but i missed a conference that i should have logged into.  apologized for it, asked if i could make it up.  we'll see.  it's not going to be hard work, just memory-taxing.  but everything else is, why not getting paid as well?

i have no more energy tonight.  i'm grateful to God for thi opportunity.  i'll write more tomorrow.