i'm just getting up. my mind starts long before my body does, it seems. i am sleeping later also. i'm not really happy with that development.
i had a good enough day yesterday, but i am still not centered as i should be. i got up and said my prayers and read. i left to hit the store, bought ink i'd promised my aunt i'd replace for the printer and contractor bags. my plan was to help Syd clear out the apartment, no matter what. but when i told her the plan, i just kept getting these objections, and i really didn't have the energy to force myself into the situation. i don't know. it doesn't seem like a good decision, to not do it, but it is the decision i made. Lonnie had offered to help, but i told him thank you and i'd stand down.
i was irritable after that. i got upset with my brother, who came by and loaded plates and kept it moving. Rachel finally reached me, and i did go over to see her for a brief period. i apologized to my brother, though he didn't know i was upset, because i knew i didn't need a resentment poisoning my thoughts, and because the truth is, i just miss the time we used to spend in meals at the apartment. can't do that here, because we default to 'the kids' in the house of our parents.
dinner was cool, i thought of taking Rachel a plate, but i did not. Mom's doing well with her c-pap, Dad's running as usual, and my fingers survived the grill. i watched television, ate a bunch of food and went to bed. i'm going to get up now. i have to make sure my system is going to work. i have to email my team lead and let her know what happened with the saturday tech call, so she's not caught off-guard. have to get ready for work.
i thank my Heavenly Father for the provisions of life today, and for love that is evident in the actions of the people around me.
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