struggle of night...

i will start back to clearing things up tomorrow.

this has been a day of wondering.  not wonderment, though.

when i got up, i turned off my gym alarm before it went off.  i set no other alarm.

i said my prayers but did no readings.

i got up and came downstairs and put on coffee for my mom.  i spoke to my dad.  i took Syd to catch her bus, didn't say anything to her.  Joe's car wasn't there and I need to stay alert for any issues.  but alertness is not easy right now.

i went back to bed after breakfast.  had to.  i am doing better, but the sleepiness is always on me.

i laid it down for about 2 hours, then i got up to see about my mom.

she's been moping quite a bit lately. i imagine i would too if all i did was go from my room to the bathroom to my room to the kitchen to my room, repeat unto infinity.

but she won't go anywhere else.  so i don't know what else to do.

i had lunch.  i saw my aunt and my brother.  i told my mom about the lasagna from the freezer.  i got myself ready for the computer.  i'd talked to Lonnie.  i caught Rachel just before start up time.

i'm on my lunch break now.  go back in about 20 minutes.  my ankle is paining me.  my left eye aches.  felt this before but still don't know what it is.

tomorrow i got to push harder.  tomorrow, i take Syd to her bus at 7 and i do my meeting at noon.  there won't be a time for a serious rest before the computer.  so i am going to struggle.  perhaps.

but i am not ungrateful.  this is a new mission, a new trial.  i am learning to be more in increments.  and I thank my Father for allowing me the opportunity to find out more about myself.