i am glad to be able to say that, aside from the Canada delivery, i have got my orders for books filled. i think that's a great thing to be able to say starting out Tim-Thousand-Seventeen. i also am glad to be able to say that i am still in the process of learning, and growing and changing both in life and in my way of doing things. it's imperative that i can do this, if my business is going to grow and prosper.
as i had said, or think i said, i let Rachel use my car to go talk to her friend, and she didn't make it back that night. i figured, as this was an old friend of hers that she may have nodded over there, but i have a proclivity toward worry and i tried to fight against it. i went to sleep, woke several times and finally got up about 3. i did my morning things, prayer and stretches and crunches and readings and decided i'd walk to the gym. it was a morning in the 40's and hadn't started the incessant raining yet. i got there about 5:20 and waited for the doors to open. i was first in the gym and did weight work for a half hour, as i started i texted Rachel to inform her that i would need a pickup at 6 and she text me back that she had fallen asleep (as toti knew) and she would be outside when i was done. and she was, of course.
i had been, the night before, under the impression that she had to be home early, as she'd asked if i could take her home before i went to the gym, but she said she had only her meeting at 8:30, and i told her i would take her and do my stuff while she was at her meeting until ten. we had breakfast together and chilled for a bit until it was time to take her to her meeting. i dropped her off and went to get supplies from Big Lots and to the bank to take out the rent. i went to pick Rachel up, found that i had a tire that was nearly flat and went to get air for it. we went to the post office on the north side but that one was crowded and rarely has more than one person working the window, so we went downtown, which was crowded but moved much faster. i sent off books for the orders i had, then went to pay my rent and then we came back here. we laid down for a nap, as we were both tired, but i couldn't really get to sleep so i covered her with a blanket after a point and came out and started working on lunch. made us some lunch and when she woke up i fixed her a sandwich and gave her a root beer and made the same for myself. then Syd had come in and it was just about time to take Rachel home.
on the ride, i told her of my realization about her feeling with The Girl Behind the Glass, and my discovery about my own attitude. i don't think it resolved anything but it did make me feel better, to no longer be disregarding her feelings. i took her home, came back, talked with Syd for a bit, had a chicken panini for dinner eventually and went to bed.
I'd talked to Lonnie yesterday as well, had to catch up with a couple of calls as i had neglected some folks to hang with Rachel. he had a horrible day in regard to his dad, and i am still convinced that his dad is simply being manipulative to take his resentment out on Lonnie. not faking his ailments and things, but allowing his attitude about the death of his wife and his son's supposed mishandling of the situation (which is bullshit, but it doesn't matter when it lodges itself as fact in a human heart). but Lonnie finally had to blow his top and let his dad know that he was not going to be manipulated into letting his own life fall apart because his father wanted to act like a spoiled child. and i am only sorry that Lonnie has to go through this, because i know the last thing in the world Lonnie wants to do is show a perceived disrespect toward his surviving parent. but if he doesn't, then he has to continue to lose his own life, and that's not going to do anyone any good.
my only plan today is to do my meeting and pick up something for dinner. pay on some bills when i get home. finish editing Waiting for Jesus and re-edit Felecia's book after i speak to her about the rest of my money (and my bonus for being patient with her ass.) i am grateful for the day and will journal about today's journey at journey's end. Thank you, Father.
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