well, yesterday was a miserable excursion, and so i didn't journal, as i spent the day fighting off an imminent flu infestation. i am not so foolish as to believe i have moved beyond it's germy demesnes, but i do feel some better today and figure now is as good a time as any to catch up, as it's been purely uneventful up to now.
first off, thanking my Father, Jehovah. i feel internally grounded again, though impoverished financially and still in need of capital to make some things happen. but i made the payments i could make, i talked to the cable company, i'm back to putting in applications and i've talked about it through the whole thing, never losing sight of the fact that i've reacted in the past, done myself harm and none of those things have been happening. so that's a plus. and the truth is, while i've been apprehensive, while i've been edgy, while i've been on the verge of the cliff, i've never been close enough to jump. and that's due to my heavenly father's love and the guidance that i've received, it's by the grace of God and the application of principles i've learned over the years. the trip is not done (a Journey, right?) but i'm still cruising. that's a good thing.
so, i woke up yesterday, feeling achy, as if i'd been beaten in my sleep. i thought perhaps it was from weekend exertions, and i got myself slowly together to go to the gym. but when i went out to clean off and heat up my car, the wind seemed to reach into my body, down to my corpuscles, and open me like a can of beans, and i knew then i was not going to do the day. i turned and went back to bed. i slept on and off and got up to take insulin and medicine, though no water pill as i didn't want to be up and down all day. i got a call from TCTC that Syd was in the nurses station (surprise he says sarcastically) and was sick and needed to come home. Joe was unable to get her as he just started working, so i cleaned off my car and warmed it up and went to get her. on the way home i stopped at Aldis and got some things to make some soup. then i came home, made soup, had lunch and passed back out again. i medicated, drank lots of water, ate soup, watched television and blew my nose. i took some evening Tylenol flu and slept in strange dreamlands and fitful wakings until 415 or so this morning. that was my day.
today, i got up, feeling some better but i didn't push it. i stayed home, said my prayers, read my meditations and scripture, had breakfast, made breakfast for Syd (home sick, legit), and got to work. i finished storyboarding my spot for Mechanical Jesus, i put in applications, i started working on a song. i didn't do much but the notmuch of today is much more than the nothing i did yesterday. my only regret is not being able to go see Heather yesterday, but i wasn't frivolously going out sick. i've been checking on my parents, i've been in touch with Lonnie, i've texted some with Rachel and i am going to get back to life tomorrow, as i have to do my noon meeting at the very least, so i may as well hit the gym if my membership still works. i'm really grateful to everyone, to all my friends and all those who look after me. and i am truly grateful to God, because i can trust the Tim on the inside, knowing that he's had God's ear the whole time.
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