i'm not sure what exactly i'm feeling, but physically i'm some kind of off right now, and i am trying to calibrate.
i did not hit the gym today, as i stated earlier. not so unusual in itself, but the fact that i didn't go monday has some gravity here. i didn't stretch, didn't do crunches either, and woke with a sugar of 245. been awhile since it's been up like that. i saw Syd out the door, i worked on some music, i eventually took my insulin, including fast acting to bring my sugar down, and my meds. and i got myself going, as i had an interview at 1015 in the a.m.
i worked on Felecia's book and worked on a song until it was time to get dressed. i made my way to Struthers, then found according to the GPS that the company is in Campbell, so i went across the bridge and got there right on time. i thought the interview went well, but what does that really mean anymore? i told the woman everything though, about losing the job at both West (their bullshit) and Menendians (my bullshit). i told her about why i've been off for the past 10 years and i told her that i really would like her to give me a chance to do this job. i went from there to set up for my meeting.
the meeting was cool, but i'm noticing that someone from my past who has been attending sporadically seems to have a bit of a problem with me, and is commenting in a way so as to not speak about me, but speak about me if i should choose to see it that way. the unfortunate thing is, he was a moron and a selfish, self-centered chronic relapser back in the day and now he is clean but he is miserable and involved in some prolonged insanity. so i choose to let him try to find his way to solid ground by making mine shaky. i would welcome someone coming along to do the position i remain in, because then i could just be a member again, which is my fervent desire.
after the meeting i went to my parent's house. i washed and dried a load of clothes. i cooked fish and broccoli for them. i plugged in my mother's laptop and i got her tablet logged in to Netflix. i got into a disagreement with her about the fact that my parents are apparently running short on monthly cash, and have not been getting groceries on a regular basis. my mother feels she should not ask for help from her children, because she sees us, not as people, but as 'her children'. i am, of course, of a different mindset. as is my dad, who borrowed money from me last month. to that end, i have spoken to my brother. we're going to have a dinner at my parent's house on sunday, and at the beginning of next month we're going to contribute some money and get some groceries for the house. it's kind of funny. all of us are on fixed incomes, with my dad being a retiree and both he and my mom getting regular deposits. but the thing is, if you're family you help when you can and when it's needed. and i am glad that i know that now, because for sure there were a lot of times when i didn't know that. i have taken, and i will give as much as i can.
i plan on going to the gym in the morning. i also plan on putting in some work on my company. time to get it moving in the right direction.
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