i got up and said prayers, turned off the alarm before it rang. i can't nap for shit, but i sleep nights and get up like clockwork. i did my crunches and stretches, i got my gym clothes on. i read from my 24 hour books, but not from the bible. i went to the gym, i did the treadmill and i got a woman's email whom i'd said i was going to write a poem for. when i got home, i did editing and got Syd out the door. i took my insulin, had breakfast and then took my pills. edited some more, then i started bundling up Patrice's books for shipping. i wrote a poem according to her subject, then i wrote for the woman at the gym. i emailed the one and packaged the other for shipping. then i got my ass moving.
i went to visit TP today, as i said i would last week. we had coffee and i listened to her and told her some of what's been going on with me. i know i'm not as present as i used to be, and i don't know that that will change. but i will be around as much as i can, and that's all the word i have to give. i left, came home talking to Rachel, made myself some lunch and then laid back down, waiting for Syd's notice to meet her at her doctor's office. i called my mother, and she didn't sound as troubled today, which was a relief. i went to the doctor's office with Syd, then took her to St. E's for x-rays. i have been thinking on her wanting to leave at the end of next month. still am, so i won't speak on it just yet.
i don't have much more than that. i've got a number for my brother and am going to call him tomorrow. i'm going to the gym in the morning, weight day. i'm going to buy an apple, as i need an apple to do sausages tomorrow. going to my parents to visit and get my roaster and my storage bowl back. i'm going to finish Felecia's book. i'm going to get started on my next project. i'm going to get my ass in gear. but i am tired. i hate being in doctor's offices where they try to seduce you into being sick and self-diagnosing with their medical ailment loops. that's some annoying shit. but it's the world in which we live.
my avocado plant has not been cut yet, nor has it been replanted. when i can get a bigger pot, i'm going to give it some room to spread it's roots and get some size. want to see how it does in the summer, if it should be hearty enough to survive this psychotic winter. but that's the whole life thing in a nutshell; you can plant a seed, but you can't make it grow, and since you can't make it grow, you can't take credit for it's growth. you can only thank God for his will being done, as i'm doing now.
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