a day of resting

well, this has been a good and strange weekend.  but it seems that certain enjoyment is a daunting prospect for me these days.  getting older is a bitch.

yesterday i got up and did my morning things, but it was in the process of waiting for Rachel to return from doing clothes.  i took my sugar reading, had meds and insulin and did my readings.  Rachel came in and we talked and i saw her to bed as she'd been up doing clothes all night.  once she had drifted i called my mother, who was not feeling up to leaving, so i got myself together for the Kingdom Hall.  i went a half hour early, nodded during the public talk and the Watchtower lesson.  but i did catch most of it and it was good to stay on track.  i went from there to my CA meeting, and that wasn't a bad thing.  i came home and Rachel and i hung out and had dinner and watched some television and talked and it was just nice spending time with her.  then she left when her mom and son came to pick her up and i did some dishes and went to bed.

today i got up and i felt shaky.  i felt achy and i felt lethargic.  i did not go to the gym.  i did pray and i did read my stuff and i did eat breakfast.  i dressed for the gym, but i didn't go.  i was drained.  i was drained from the weekend, and to be honest the financial concerns are still weighing on me, though not frantically as they were at the beginning of the month. i managed to have breakfast, lunch and dinner however.  i managed to do some editing on Felecia's book.  i managed to update my cover letter and add some bulk to my resume.  i managed to talk to Lonnie, Rachel, my brother and my mom.  i have written a letter to Heather, whom i've not visited in two Mondays and will mail it tomorrow.  i did stuff that needed to be done, including stretches and crunches.  but i have to get my regular show back on the road.  discipline is hard to attain, easy to lose and synergetically harder to restore than when you attained it the first time.  but to have done good things, to not have the burden of panic, to have fed myself and my child and to have put in some of the work needed, i am grateful to Jehovah and will not shirk giving that thanks.  tomorrow will be a busier day.  and i will be ready for it.