Saturday night. i'm running my bath now. i've got a pan of dressing and a pan of mac n cheese in the oven, that will come out before i hop into the tub. i have a turkey in a roaster, ready to go in as soon as i pull them out. i've got a plan, but the results are not in my hands. and that is the essence of life on planet earth, life in orbit or life on a journey.
i got up after a night of strange dreams and a false awakening at about midnight with a text from Rachel, who had a bad day. when i finally got up for the day, i felt absent, as if there really was no good thing to be done. i prayed, but i did no stretches, no crunches. i didn't go for the walk i'd thought of taking on Friday. i read my books, and i watched some television. about 845 i went to the store, got some of the things i needed at Sav-A-Lot and some at Aldi's. i came home, counting pennies, but with what i needed. had to break my 50 dollar reserve, but i know things are going to get better.
my brother came over as i was cleaning the greens. i'd put two italian sausages into the oven, and offered him some breakfast. he declined a meal but accepted a sausage on bread. we talked about our parents, and the old days of family and religion. before he came by Patrice had texted me asking about purchasing her books. i told her to pay in the money transfer we already had set up, and that i'd mail the books to her. she took care of that this evening, and now i've got my reserve back. God is good.
Rachel called in the morning and i got the story of the changes her son has been taking her through. i eventually went to pick her up and brought her over to spend some time and get away. she relaxed after a point, and i fed her lunch as she hadn't eaten. she brought steaks for us for dinner and after i got done with the rest of my prep i prepared the steaks. we talked a lot as well; friendships and my past hero behaviors toward damaged women. we talked about good things and real things, and that's about all you can ask from in a day with someone you love. i made the steaks and rice for dinner, with some of the greens that are for tomorrow. we watched a comedian and a movie and then i took her home.
i am tired. naps don't really happen anymore. i have a book that i have not finished editing. i still have to go over the material sent by my prospective client. i have work to do, and i only have me to do it. but i believe in the process. when you know what the job is, then the job becomes to do it, and do it to the best of your ability. i will work more on Felecia's book tomorrow, but as i stated, i sent her a concern and i've not heard back yet, though her father did just pass and that means i have to accept the delay. my aunt's cancer has returned, and my mom is really upset about that. she had gone through a lot of treatments that left her very sick, but they had gotten it into remission. apparently that's ended now, and i don't know what's next. i will pray for her, and i will keep her in my heart. i am grateful to God that this day has been one of reflection and stuff, and rest and peace. and now i'm going to soak my flesh and shave my face and get ready for the life i may be blessed with tomorrow.
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