...before i leave

well, it's been a different kind of day.  i am satisfied with myself at the moment, and that hasn't happened much lately, so that's a good thing.  i'm on my way to an AA meeting, i have to give the lead today, share my story, my experience, strength and hope.  when i feel compromised like this, i hate having that obligation.  but i have found that being true to life is much better than fabricating a false happiness.  because change comes and it doesn't even stop at the grave.  but sobriety is possible through the worst of situations.

i got up and said my prayer today.  i didn't go to the Hall, and i didn't go to my meeting.  but i did apologize to Jehovah for my ingratitude.  my attitude has been horrible, and i know it.  i still have enough meat in my freezer to end the month.  i still have heat, i still have clothes, i still have shelter.  my car has gas in it.  my child is safe. i have nothing that i need to complain about.  so this blues, though partly seasonal, partly residual and partly organic, is amplified by my pre-programmed proclivity toward making mountains out of molehills.  i took my blood sugar and then got to work.  i have all the computer images i need for one of the scenes for my MJ commercial.  i had breakfast, i watched some television.  i did my stretches and my crunches.  i did, through the day, a picture for a flyer for Mechanical Jesus, since i can't keep 'borrowing' other people's images for my backgrounds.  i finished it and the flyer.  i talked to Lonnie early, i talked to Rachel later in the day.  i had soup and a personal pizza for lunch.  i feel better.  i'm not 100 percent, but i'm not zero either, and i'm happy enough on whatever the needle falls on.  i am going to do this meeting, find me some dinner, and i'm going to start the day like i end it, with positive thoughts and a willingness to move forward.  and put in a few applications when i get home as well.  i love my Creator, I am thankful to my God, and i am blessed with friends and family who love me.  that is my riches, my abundance.