i got up and was feeling pretty sleepy but i got into my walking shoes. i said my prayers, got my coffee and water, made my way out the back door (as Syd was sleep in the living room) and drank my coffee and water and got started on my walk. i did the 1.7 mile walk this morning, and it was uneventful and lovely. i saw a family of raccoons, gathering for an attack on someone's house on Hadley. i watched the sunrise, i noticed the amount of trash all through the neighborhoods. i saw the tiny pine tree that some part of me thinks will need to be decorated this december. i came home and took my meds and insulin. i had breakfast, two boiled eggs, two slices off a block of pepperjack cheese and a piece of toast and a cup of milk. i couldn't get much done early as Syd was still sleep in the living room. i looked into some book pricing and some prices for registering my business and almost got discouraged. then i realized i can't put the cart in front of the horse, and decided i needed to wash a load of clothes and i needed to visit my parents, which coincided for me.
at my parent's house, i started my wash and went up to visit. my dad was at a doctor's appointment and my mom was in her room. my aunt and the young guy she babysits were just pulling in and were on the porch. i decided i'd have lunch at my parent's as opposed to going to some fast food place. i made a ham and roast beef on wheat with tomato, lettuce and cheese and was about to have it with a small bit of potato salad and a banana when Lonnie called and asked if i wanted to go to lunch. so i passed the sandwich to my mother and went to lunch, where i had half a brisket sandwich, a field green salad with a balsamic vinaigrette and a cup of broccoli and cheddar/chili combined at my request. actually not a bad combo, though the waitress thought it was weird. i dropped Lonnie at his car as he only worked half a day today and went back to my parent's house. my aunt had dried my clothes so i folded them and went back up to visit. my dad was home and i talked to he and my mother for awhile before deciding to come home.
i dozed in and out for a bit, then decided i needed to scavenge. i had the last of the fajita chicken with mashed potatoes and water, and i had a small bowl of leftover haluski. it was likely more than i should have eaten but it was good and i'm not hungry any longer. i watched some tv with Syd, and i'm about to shut down soon. i don't have a workout scheduled for tomorrow, but my plan is to get a business plan put together (horse before the cart) so that i can work out getting my thing started.
the picture in the corner is Rachel, the sunday after our 'appreciation dinner' without a flash. i chose that one because it feels like i'm in a Rachel blackout at this time. she has no phone at the moment, and i don't feel i need to accommodate her by going over every day. she can call if she wants to, as her children have phones. and she can get over here if she wants to, as her mom gives her access to the car from time to time. what i know is i have things to do, horses to groom and carts to build, and if she is going to be in my life she needs to at least not make my jobs harder to do. its her choice. i hate not seeing her but seeing her at her house is like a jail visit, where you have to follow the protocol by force.
Patrice was texted this afternoon by me, explaining what my take is on the current status of our relationship/friendship and my lack of communicating at this time. Lonnie says, and i agree, that i allowed the terms of silence and distance at awkward intervals, and that i can't expect any different if she doesn't choose to be responsive to what i say. i agree, but before i write off a friendship of twenty years, i will attempt to make known how i feel. i did the same thing with Mike, who was my friend since my sophomore year in high school up until my third or fourth year here. i am a firm believer in propriety. if i say how i feel, you have the choice to react, respond or ignore. whatever choice you make lets me know if i can continue to walk with you or need to leave you alone, and that doesn't mean it's easy, it just means its necessary sometimes.
so, i'm going to look up writing a business plan. i'm going to write something on the Z-Esoterica, which is the other side of this orbit. and then i'm going to bed, and contemplate whether i'm going to the gym in the morning or not. thank you, Jehovah, for a full and educational day.
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