Lead Tonight

I imagine i'll take this down by the end of the week.  gonna do a different storyboard, reshoot it, edit the music down some.  but i got tired of waiting, to see my thoughts, my ideas made real through effort.  it's what it's about, creating and making things.  and i am trying to get my hand back in it, working on my stuff and bringing some creativity back to the routine of my life.  it's going to work.  i believe it. but nothing gets seen by hiding it under a pile of clothes.  

today i had a good day.  i got up about quarter to four, said my prayer and got into the kitchen.  i read my meditation books, took my meds, read my scriptures while i worked on my breakfast.  i ate, got my stuff together, got dressed and got it moving.  i set up the one lamp this morning, and i'm glad i did.  nice change of the scenery with a floor lamp doing its thing.

i went to work.  had a sub driver today, so there was some chaos with one of our stops, but nothing that made the world end.  i went to my parent's house at break, made mom coffee, changed my dad's light bulb, washed the dishes.  they had enough spaghetti left for tonight so i cooked nothing else, not knowing if my mom's stomach was really holding things down.  i went to K'nafa and had a beef shawarma and a lebanese salad, and then i went back to work.

the afternoon went much smoother, as it usually does, and i left as soon as i got back to the shop.  i've taken my shower and shaved, and i'm pondering dinner.  i have to speak at a meeting tonight, same location as the last lead i gave but different night.  it's an 830 meeting, and it cuts severely into my sleep time and my prep time for tomorrow, so i got the latter done already.  Lonnie expressed some surprise that i didn't say 'No'.  to be honest, i could have.  i've been thinking about it.  when he first asked me, i'd made no preparations and said no because the spur of the moment thing meant i'd have been rushing.  i try not to do that anymore.  with advance notice, i have time to get things together at a leisurely pace, and that works for me.  as well, i just have to remember, every day, this sobriety is not guaranteed, it is not a gift.  it is a GRANT, and it is maintained by my willingness to stay physically active and growing.  to give away what i've been blessed with by way of experience, strength and hope.  if i have no good reason to not speak, i speak.  i believe that is the payment for the blessings we receive; the things we do out of gratitude for God's presence and the abundance of His vigilance in our lives.  that's what i believe, anyway.  so i'm going to do it. and i'm glad to be able to, and i thank Jehovah for the opportuinty to share what he's given to me.  i'm going to nap now.