wistfulness in november

this is one of the summer pics that i asked Rachel to take for me.  i was looking to get my sense of being an author reestablished, in the wake of all the losses i'd incurred over the course of a few months.  there wasn't a lot of satisfaction in the pictures; i didn't get many suggestions from Rachel.  it's just funny how things become clearer as time goes on.  i miss her, not in a diminished amount, but in a different capacity.  i wish i had my friend around.  but i can see further how much distance she was maintaining at this time. 

today i have to get some supplies.  i'm running low on daily coffee, as well as milk and eggs and shit.  it's okay, i have the money for these things, but i don't have much more than that.  i got up feeling okay though.  and that's despite some fairly pressing things to deal with.  for starters, i have to talk to my dad about the roof over the downstairs bathroom.  the leaking is pretty heavy now, so either the thing is getting worse or the heavier rain is revealing the amount of existing damage.  but it is as a colander at the moment and that's not going to work.  i also need a printer, because i have to be able to print some of the documents i'll be working on soon, and writing things out longhand print is not my cup of tea anymore.  but that's peripheral. 

i didn't find any apps this morning, but i'll check the vindicator online later, when i return home.  i'm going to check on my parents and i'm going to hit Aldi's while i'm north.  i also need to get that switch put on my heating system, but i have something else wrong that i need to get checked out and need to consider what to do about that as well.  it's the nature of things, i'm not weeping about it.  life in this particular time in history dictates that unless you have an abundance it's likely you don't have enough of something that you need for real.  but you have to be able to survive regardless, and that's what i intend to do. 

regarding the picture.  i cut it from the center of a picture that i wasn't crazy about.  it's not the weight at all, so much as the composition.  some people feel editing is a cheat, but i'm not in agreement with that.  it was a color picture, heavy shadows in the face and the foreground.  i cut out the figure and with some gamma correction got a lightening of the features and changed the shadows appropriately.  because life is what it is, and the tools that we have are all the instruments we've got to work with.  i'm not unhappy with it now, and still have the original because regardless of my perception of where Rachel was at the time, she took the picture and it will always mean something to me because of that alone.  so, we make do with what we have, and we change the perspective and it becomes something we need.  that's my mantra for today. 

thank you, Father, for life today.