On the Verge...

i want to get this done because i just straight overlooked the last 2 days.  i've been cooking for tomorrow, trying to take my time because i have another bout of back pain coming on that i'm staving off best i can, and i'm trying to stay focused because the task that i have as far as cooking as grown somewhat since the beginning of the week.  but i still have no good excuse for neglecting this journey since Sunday, so i have to force myself to stay on track.

cooking has been pretty much it for the past two days.  i'm trying to do the bulk of it here because my parent's kitchen is minuscule and they have no real space to store the dishes once they're prepared.  and the days of my grandparents, of cooking everything the night before and the day of, are long gone.  it's funny, as i get older, i slow down and i realize that this is not something i'm going to do for much longer.  i don't mind; cooking is a meditation for me, a relaxing event that i enjoy immensely.  but as i cook, i'm setting some things aside for my own home, because i still have to eat as well, and i realize...cooking just for myself, i could have done it all in one day.

details.  i did talk to De'Ja finally, such as texting can be considered 'talk'.  he is going through shit still, but i didn't try to fix anything for him.  i don't know if he's coming this way or not, to be honest.  i only know i gave him the address and told him he's welcome.  so he'll do what he'll do.  Syd is coming along, she and Joe are cooking at their apartment.  I suppose i'll go and grab a plate.  this is all new, but it's not the worst thing in the world.  it's just new. don't know what their mother is doing, she says she's going to her 'best friend's' house for thanksgiving, but i know she's grown and will be okay. 

i have done the sweet potato casserole for my mom's dinner, and the greens are done and wonderful.  the pasta salad is done, save but the inclusion of olives.  i'm working on the dressing now and will take care of the turkey this afternoon.  i have my own greens done, have macaroni boiled for mac and cheese and cheese shredded as well, and my dressing is in the oven with the pan for the house.  i have two cream cheese pies in the fridge and one in the freezer, and i'm doing my sweet potato pies this evening as well.  right now, i'm waiting to go with Lonnie to his appointment to get bloodwork done, and i'm going to grab a few needed things while i'm out. 

i've slept well enough considering the pressure in my back, i've said my prayers, did my readings, took my insulin and pills.  i'm going to change clothes and get myself together to roll out when it's time.  i feel good.  i miss Rachel, but i'm okay.  i guess that's what i'm into right now.  no great lessons, no big revelations.  just grateful to Jehovah for the provisions of the day and thankful to have a place to rest when i need to.  i'm gone.