yeah, i missed yesterday. i know. i don't know how, but i'm sure it's got something to do with filling the day with doing things. but that's no excuse; that in fact is the reason for the journal, to keep track of the Journey. life itself, i mean. and if i do things and don't record them, it's good in one way because it means i'm moving and thriving to whatever extent. but again, discipline must be maintained, as i have to do this for the rest of my life. so, on with it, right?
i did my meeting yesterday, and that was okay. a few people i truly don't like came in, but it was a chance to exercise tolerance toward others. can't just do it when it's easy, or there's no growth. after that, i went to my parent's house again. that was cool also; just popped in, saw how they were and kept it moving. i went to the store and got some things, not a long, staying conservative until i'm working again.
i came home, had lunch, prepped dinner, think i took a nap, then i cooked and ate dinner and watched somethings on youtube. i had some ice cream before i went to bed. didn't get sweets from the store, as i'm working on cutting back again.
oh, and i wrote a poem called ALIEN NATION, an obvious play on words, and i've been recording it and recording to and for it. productivity.
yesterday i also asked people on FB to give me some subjects to write poetry. 3 people responded, well, 4 but the fourth didn't do as i asked so he got nothing yet. needed to include that...
i got up today, about 5:30. i'd taken gabapentin last night, as i was hurting (still am, neuropathic flare in my left foot) and i slept pretty damn good, didn't even realize it was that late in the morning, such as it was. i turned on my coffee, said my prayer, lit incense, went to the kitchen, read scripture and meditation, took insulin and pills, had water and coffee and made myself cheese grits and eggs for breakfast. all before 6:30. i went upstairs after that, and i started working again on the aforementioned project, and it's come along nicely so far. need to compress some tracks, do some background noise and mix it down. just something to give to some people, some vibologism like we used to do.
i've no plans for the day. going to get some lunch in a bit, going to finish working on this song, going to call my mom and check on my brother. i don't see me leaving for long or going too far. not today anyway. and if it turns out i'm wrong, that's fine too. the fact of working is what's good to me, working on poetry, writing, doing music and laying tracks, thinking of things that don't make me sad. being at home. being at HOME. that's so important. everything comes in its own time.
a woman who i respected a long time ago said something that i've kept ever since as a benchmark. she said, "You know you're getting better when, instead of bad memories, you have memories of bad events". in modification, my sadness is not yet a memory of something that made me sad, but i'm not morose or broody just this moment. i think that's progress. i think i'm getting better. i thank Jehovah if I am, and i thank Him if i'm not. because I WILL. that is all.
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