the shifting winds

this was a good day also.  i'm getting used to saying that.  it's scary in a way, but not overtly so.
i slept the sleep of both the just and the damned, and i'm hoping to do so again tonight.  when i got up, i was slow motion, trying my best to come from the depth of sleep that the binaural meditation video took me to.  i did pray, i did get up, but it was like swimming from a deep place.  and it was not a problem at all.
i took meds, had breakfast (half a frittata) and sort of lazed about.  i just couldn't put it together for the gym.  i went to counseling, which was good as i was able to look at things with R and myself from the outside of it, and it seems good from out there also.  as well, VF was kind enough to help me in my financial need, and i am very appreciative and humbled by the kindness.  so there's that.\
i went to my parent's house and visited.  i have to go back tomorrow to exchange one dvd player for another in my mother's room, but that will give me a chance to wash a load of clothes as well.  i saw my mom and my dad, and then i came home.
i had texted R in the morning and called her in the afternoon, but no answer.  i did get a call from her, telling me that she had slept in, from a high sugar possibly, and was just getting her day started.  she's going through some things with her mother.  i told her i was doing an 'act as if' and making preparations for seeing her tomorrow, which she seems to be looking forward to.  i am happy about that too.  later she told me her mom was mad at her, because of her spending time with me, and i couldn't really say anything about that.  i told her i thought everything would be okay, and that was trite and rather condescending, but you can't speak against someone's parent, even if they are themselves.  i am going to compose a poem for her mother, because she deserves a poem for raising such a wonderful daughter.
i got a call from Will, my brother's friend, asking about the car.  late he brought his daughter to look at it, and they drove it and said that they'd pay the 500 but they would do it on the 1st.  i told him if he was sure about it i'd take the 800 dollar tag out of the window and lock it up for them.  i can wait until the first.  i also got my meds, and they keep sending me the symlin pens, when  i cancelled that from my order months and months ago and have no intention on paying for it.
i cleaned my house today, end to end, because i want to be able to rest and spend time with R if she comes tomorrow.  i have no plans for memorial day, i don't even want to try to have plans.  i want to lay back, watch some television and eat some simple food, and get into my groove for the coming month.
i guess i'm realizing that change is not only possible, it is vital and imperative.  comfort can easily denote stagnation.  i asked for help.  i put a car up for sale.  i have a video project and i have a new vibe for a production company.  i have a woman that i love loving me.  my child passed to the 12th grade, almost despite herself.  we are blessed, and we are in good company, each of us with each of us.  i couldn't ask for more, because i didn't even ask for this much and i've received it.  i thank my Father, Jehovah, and i appreciate the shifting winds that bring about learning, wonder and wisdom on this orbit.  good night.