well, i missed yesterday. journaling, that is. i was pretty much out of it after i cut the grass, so i forgot all about writing. but i'm on it today. so we'll catch up and get back on track.
yesterday. i got up and said my prayers. i went to breakfast with Marc, talked for awhile. came home, got myself in gear and cut the grass. it took quite a bit out of me, as i said earlier. i had Jo cut the hill on the back of the yard, but the rest i did. i visited my mom after i took a bath, got money for some groceries, took my dad to his party, came home and ate and put together my casserole for the potluck at the sunday meeting, and i crashed after i got him home. also, a guy that i sponsor came and visited, and we talked for a good while. and my brother stopped in a few times, and he seemed rather morose about his living thing, his housemate and his self as well. i'm worried about him but i haven't had a chance to talk to him about it again yet.
today, i had trouble getting out of the bed. i eventually got up, said my prayers, got meds and breakfast in and did some recording work. got a pretty good amount done on the recording that i did the day before, but i ended up scrapping the vocal tracks that i laid down as i wasn't pleased with them. well, i scrapped one. i re-recorded it, and i now have something serviceable, but i have to find a way to record it at the tempo that it's best played at. i went to the meeting, which went well, though only about half the people we've been getting lately. i went to visit Johnnie, which was nice. i came home and took my last insulin, and i ate dinner, leftovers from the potluck. i have been talking to R, who is back from Jamaica and to Lonnie, who is exhausted as well. i am going to sleep well, and i am going to the gym and to the grocery store tomorrow and i'm going to get this orbit moving with a bit more thrust in the days to come.
my observations today, i have not been logging food, and hence i've been eating off center. there is a correlation between being responsive in my need to be honest and simply doing what 'feels right' at the moment. i can't afford to fuck around like that, so i'm back to my logging in the morning.
I am talking to R, and she had a very eventful time in Jamaica. i've not said that i missed her, though i said i missed hearing her voice. she's not said she missed me, without any qualifiers. but that's okay, as she is talking to me and i'm not really sweating her at this moment. also, as previously stated, she has to start paying to play on this board. if she won't, then whoever has the coin will enter the game.
i talked to my mother about the feud she's having with her sister. i talked about it in a roundabout fashion, to try to get her to think and see a way out rather than be accusatory. accusing does nothing, but relating things about myself can sometimes give space to work one's own way out, i've found.
so, that's all i got for now. i am going to get some water, finish this conversation with R and then go to bed. thank you, Father, and i'm back in motion tomorrow.
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