the rain is matching my mid-level mood today. i am in a bit of a funk, but it's not keeping me from moving forward with the things that i need to get done. i'm writing this in the moments before i go to my last training class. i have just eaten two dollar burritos from taco bell, because i haven't time to eat anything else and i haven't money to just toss around randomly. but i will follow the established structure and move on from there.
said my prayers, lazed about, got up and saw Syd out the door, meds and insulin. had breakfast, 2 eggs scrambled with peppers, onion, jalapenos, homefries and cheese, with a piece of toast. a bit carb heavy but i took extra fast acting insulin to clear a pen and i didn't want to end up in a crash zone. i lazed about some more and then took a shower, dressed and got paperwork needed for Lane funeral home. I went to the bank and got their check then went to my meeting. it was a good meeting, lots of people and not a bunch of drama. but i still watch it playing out in different scenarios. fortunately, they don't concern me.
my sponsor came to the meeting. it was really good to see him up and about. we talked after the meeting for a bit and then i went to my appointment with Lane. I paid the money, got the paperwork and make my way back across town. i called and talked to Lonnie on my way there and back about his and his daughter's trip to New York, and i got my aforementioned burritos before i came home.
Heather continues to try to contact me. its getting to the point of irritation. but i'm trying to remain patient. i can't do anything to help her, and likely wouldn't even if i could, because she did hurt me and she did so deliberately, but also because i really have no reason to go backward. i checked the charges they got her for. driving without a license, parole violation stuff. it looked like they've got her on a twenty four hundred dollar bail, which would be 240, but i'm not going to pay a hundred for anyone to get out of jail. right about now, that includes Syd and possibly myself as well. only because i am looking into a fear that i have to match with faith about my finances this month.
i've paid rent, i've gotten my cable bill reduced. i have to pay electric, gas and cable. they're going to take car payment, insurance, loan payment. i still have to pay on paypal balance. i feel like i'm forgetting something, but it will sadly come to me soon enough. I asked FH, the woman I did the editing for, if she could pay me the remainder of my money and she said she would on Friday. i trust her, and wouldn't have asked but i'm trying to get my ducks lined up. i need groceries. i have to eventually take my cavalier in to be worked on. i have to get ready for Syd to be out of school for the summer. i am tight like a noose as far as money this month. but i do believe that it's a part of doing things better, getting ready for the future that is upon me. I worked on the tracks for the Janice's Journal spot, but i see i'm going to need some help. i have a endochrinologist appointment tomorrow and i have counseling on friday. i have no idea what dinner is going to be.
yet, i'm not panicky. i feel that i am doing things in a good way. if i am broke, i will have a 40 gift card from walmart to get some food with. i will have 110 that i can pay my phone with and my paypal bill and still have about forty left. i have supplies. i have enough money to pay the bills. i will not give in to fear because i don't believe i'll have enough. my God will make it enough. always has, and i believe he always will.
so, that's the status right now. when i know what's for dinner, i'll put that down here. until then, gym tomorrow, Dr. DeRosa, and some tidying up. laterz.
No comments:
Post a Comment