it's going on one in the afternoon. i'm doing this now because i want to make sure i get at least the early part of the day put down though i intend to do a wrap up as well. i'm in the process of trying to do nothing, as per R's instructions, and she is absolutely correct; it is exceedingly difficult, though i often think myself a pretty lazy guy.
i got up and said prayers and was moving slow, as Thursdays seem to go lately. i didn't go to the gym. i started writing in the new poem i'm working, The Land of Evolon. got some pages done, got Syd out the door, had breakfast, insulin and meds, and i messed around for a bit. the muse abandoned me so i put the poem away for now, and i gathered clothes. i washed out the bathtub as a prelude to cleaning the bathroom later, and i took clothes to my parent's house to wash. i made my mom an omelet and toast for breakfast. i got keys from my dad to the new side door lock and i went to the store. i got stuff to put with the burgers for tonight and i came home. i called R back but no answer so i put my clothes in the dryer and went for my walk. that is where this writing catches up to real time at the moment i'm writing it. i am about to make myself some lunch. i had two potato latke and two scrambled eggs. for lunch i'm making fish tacos and having some soup. dinner will be burgers on the George Foreman grill and salad.
i feel good, but i am tired, there's no getting around that. i don't particularly like the weariness, but i've told my family doctor, my endocrinologist and my cardiologist about the weariness and none of them addressed it too significantly. i have no problem napping, and will do so after lunch, but i am going to clean the bathroom and my bedroom before bedtime.
i have some thoughts. i am working my way into being the success that i want to be with the writing. it is a process, but i'm in that process now. i have made my webpage far more comprehensive. i've got to change my phone message for the Z phone, but i am not too unhappy with where i am at this moment. all i can say is, i want to keep moving forward, and i would imagine i'll get where i'm trying to go when its time for me to be there. but that's it for now. i'm too tired to think.
well, the day is done. i worked on the poem a bit more, had lunch and dinner as planned ate some popcorn as well, cleaned my kitchen and put stuff away. i've talked quite a bit to R, over the past couple of days. i'm trying to reach in more, without expectation. she is more conversive, and we talk on a wide range of subjects, but the eggshells are still on the floor and the apprehension is real. so i am cautious, i imagine she is too. but there can be no more free riding. if she isn't wanting to do a relationship then we're going to move to something else. and by we i mean ME.
thank you, Jehovah, for a peaceful day.
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