the ghost is me

not a dramatic day, despite the title.  just a poem i'm pondering, from how i'm sort of feeling these days.

i didn't do anything much today.  slept in, said my prayers, took meds and insulin, ate and cleaned dishes and killed a spider.  i didn't go to the hall, didn't go to meeting, and turned down a visit from a guy who used to go to meetings because i wasn't really doing people today.

i saw Syd and Joe in the evening and spoke to them, giving them some alternatives, but i knew how it was going to play out and it did.  so i won't try to keep spinning the plates anymore.  i talked to my parents about setting up my office in the basement and they're okay with it. my dad doesn't want Syd out on her own, as i knew he wouldn't, but it's not up to him or my mom or brother or anyone else.  i am not 'okay' with it, but i am fine with her having the right to succeed or fail on an attempt, rather than simply being afraid to try.  it's not a good situation, but as the old saying goes, 'a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still'.  i've not ever found that to not be true, so i'm done with CPR on this issue; it is a corpse, and will be respected as such.

talked to Rachel briefly, talked to Lonnie, talked to my friend Keith and Patrice, who had a date yesterday and today and i'm happy about that.  haven't heard from anyone else, and that's cool.  gym tomorrow, time to get this party started right.  time to gather, dispose, wrap and pack and bag and box.  time to get ready to shake the tree.  I am grateful for a day of rest, and grateful to God for whatever falls from the tree.