this day has been a bit off. i feel as if the controls are not reading quite right. though i'm still following the established trajectory, i sure feel as if i am off my plotted course. but all there is to do is take the adventure and see where i eventually end up.
i did get up with prayer today, but i wasn't feeling the gym. my left leg has been bothering me greatly lately. but that's not the reason. i went to sleep with details and dilemma running through my brain, and though the sleep was deep it was not refreshing. i didn't use my meditation music, i just clocked out and then clocked back in. so i got up, said my prayer, and i got into the day. i didn't do sit ups or crunches either. i did read my books and my scripture. i did have breakfast, had grits with my eggs because my sugar was 90 when i got up. i talked to Joe about coming over at 6 in the morning, over an hour before Syd needs to leave for school, and as it their wont, he said she asked him to and when i asked her she threw him under the bus. so there you go.
i got started very nondescriptly. i had a plan to work on stuff, and i needed to get some supplies. so i didn't do the lay around thing, which was good. i went to my parents house, i talked to my dad and my mom for a bit, and i picked up some stuff that i could use for the video i'm working on. i came home, had lunch and started working on a design on a white sheet for a backdrop. then i took an actual nap, though it was very short.
eventually Syd came home and we had a talk. she's been off into her own thing, and seems to be pretty unconcerned about the well-being of either myself or the apartment. but i'm wearied with arguing this kind of shit. i do the dishes, i put them away. i keep the home clean. shortly, i'll be doing these things myself for myself anyway, so no point not getting into the habit now. but i won't be disregarded without letting it be known that it's bullshit. no going quietly into that night for me.
i got dinner done, we ate, i am currently posting songs about the rain (or reign, as the case may be) on facebook, as i consider what i need to color this pattern on this shit, my friend Lonnie pissing blood and needing to go to his doctor tomorrow, and paying on the last of my bills so i can gauge my finances for the rest of the month. i am blessed, this job is going to be very much beneficial to getting the foundation under me. and i give thanks to Jehovah God for the provision.
tomorrow will definitely be a different day, and different is good.
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