torture

if there is a more exquisite form of torture than the elliptical machine at the fitness center, i don't want to know about it.  i am hurting.  i am literally hurting from sea to shining sea.  five, seven minutes on that hellish thing and i feel the next day as if i have been assaulted with a vehicle.  ah, well, such is life.
i had a day.  that's what can be said about today.  i did not go to the gym, but i did get my prayer in this morning.  i went to counseling.  i did dinner with my child's friend, but the conversation didn't happen because A, i was sore as hell and just wanted to eat and B, because the friend was late and i had to eat on time due to my insulin.  i found some other things i was looking for for R's thing that i got her.  i went with T to look at a house she intends to buy.  it continues to amaze me that it can be overlooked, when a person is asking if you are troubled, that they may be the source of your trouble.  but it doesn't matter.  i have plans that i've only given partial hope to.  i can't do full hope, because that disappointment hits me a bit too hard.  but i can do some hope, and some planning, and in the meantime, i have to clean, and i have to write, and i have to cook this beef stroganoff because it's what's for dinner.  and i have to be good to me tomorrow, because that's a very important part of the day.  it was good to see my counselor.  nothing too serious, but i know an extended stretch is coming soon where they won't be in and i want to storehouse some of VF's wisdom for the dry stretch.  i don't have much today either.  gonna crash, get some rest and kick tomorrow in the ass, or get kicked in the ass by tomorrow, but one way or another, ass will be kicked.  thank you, Father, and peace to this universe that contains us all.