time

there are 24 hours in a day, according to man.  in those twenty-four hours, everyone has periods of peak performance and periods of far below peak.  its easy to start a day strong and then finish weak as hell for me.  this is something i'm working on changing now.
a two egg sandwich is two hundred and sixty calories.  good enough for breakfast.
prayer and conversation with my child started the day.  i am weary of coming into the living room area in the morning and picking up after her.  i'm keeping her home this weekend so that she can understand i mean what i say.  i went to the gym but only walked a mile.  out of sorts a bit, but i got in some exercise, got my heart beat racing a bit so that's good too.  i am tired as fuck, and i need a quick nap i believe, but i'm not sure why.  been writing in Mechanical Jesus quite a bit lately, sitting at the computer for long stretches makes me tired.  so we'll see what the day brings when we see.

A day starts well. It moves with purpose and direction. Then forgotten thoughts impose on the consciousness. Adjustments incautiously made. And the derailment has happened.
T.F. came over for coffee. Thought about, but did not act on, bedroom things. But the thought was there. Then there was lunch with Lonnie. Low sugar meant heavier carb intake. Planned therefore a super-responsible dinner. Then A. invited me for dinner at Chinese place, where I sit waiting for her. Feast or famine can translate literally. BUT. Company, friendship, conversation, all very beneficial. God gives and man either accepts or misinterprets. Life on life's terms. More later.

night now.  in my bed.  its a day to think about.  a day starts well.  it ends okay.  between you either feast or you starve, spiritually and emotionally.  i received what i needed.  i enjoyed the company of many friends, and i did the things that i wanted to do.  i didn't talk to R, but you can't have everything.  maybe tomorrow, maybe thursday.  but for now, the thing i need to remember is that a day has 24 hours, and all of them have to be lived in tandem and in purpose if things are going to get back on track.  this was a good discovery day.  i am still looking for pacification.  i am still taking short cuts, knowing they actually lead to the long way.