The Stress...

...there's a nasty kind of headache associated with high blood pressure, elevated blood pressure anyway.  it's a lot like a sinus headache, in that it has a major presence behind your eyes, but it's deeper than that.  it also has a hold of your neck and shoulders.  you feel like you want to roll a tension out of them, or you want to crack your neck, but it ain't happening.  and all the while, there is the dull but persistent throbbing in your temples.  your scalp doesn't fit quite right.  thing is, it's worse when you finally get your blood pressure together.  because blood pressure medicine lowers your pressure quickly, and the pressure drop intensifies the entire pain threshold into a dynamic burst of sustained gunfire that no amount of tylenol is going to resolve, extra-strength or otherwise.  sometimes the mixture for a migraine headache will work (acetominaphen, aspirin and caffeine), but it is not a guarantee.  the real deal is you moan and rock, you suffer, you try to be as patient as you can, and in about 24 hours, you feel okay again. 

that is the detailed remembrance of what i have endured in days long gone, what i will likely endure in the all-too-near future, and what i am bearing up under now. and even now, at the precipice of restoration, they still don't have my medicine on hand, i'm still forced to wait another day.  i know this is a test.  but i do believe it is a test from other than Jehovah, for he does not try us by evil means.  the test is about response versus reaction, about being cool versus blowing my stack.  and i elect, thus far, to remain cool.  i'm doing the best i can, and maybe even a little better than that, we'll see.

what's gone on today?  well, i dropped my phone in a pissy toilet, and retrieved it, but it's dead right now.  i've not gotten my meds still.  i've gained 6 pounds since my last doctor visit.  so i've got to get my shit together on that front.  there is some issue with my medicare that i've got to investigate.  main thing is, though, that i'm getting by so far.  i'm on the verge of passing out now, that's been happening often.  i need to get my medicine tomorrow, but it's not in my hands and therefore acceptance is the key.  all i can honestly do is stay collected until it is resolved, then bear the weight of the pain until it passes.  and that, too, shall pass. 

i am grateful to Jehovah for the good, which are the blessings i need, and the not so good, which teach me the things i need to know for the next time.