Silent Treatments, and other Misunderstandings...

sometimes you have to step back a hair.  you have to not fly as the urge hits you, lash out because something is rubbing you against the grain.  you have to take the deepest breath you can, blow it out,and look at the situation again, and likely, given enough of those deep breaths, you'll see it for what it actually is, rather than what it immediately strikes you as.  i'm happy to say, it doesn't take me days or hours of deep breaths to come to that point anymore, though i still have to do it on a regular basis.

today's breaths came courtesy of the Boss, who it took me all day to learn that she is under the weather now.  the bug has gotten ahold of her, sounds like, and she is not feeling well.  but rather than just say that, she engaged in conversation early, and then shut it down for the rest of the shift.  we started in the same place in the afternoon and ended with very few words exchanged. 

mind you, when her friend's mother died, i experienced the same thing with her, i was actually angry and resentful before i breathed deep enough and long enough to let it go.  but the experience itself was enough for me to look at one thing right off the bat:  i'd done nothing wrong to her, therefore i was not at fault and did not need to take anything personally.  and i didn't.  i hope she feels better, i truly do.  but she will in time, and when she does, life will have gone on.  that's the good thing about perspective; when its in use, it gives a person an advantage over their own lower nature, for the most part.

the second breathing incident is still taking place.  a young lady, the daughter of an old friend, is proving herself to be insane, in my observation.  but she commented on something i posted that has nothing whatever to do with her. that's not where it started from, though.  breathing through it, i can acknowledge that i asked her, last year, about an issue i was having with a keyboard and she tried to simply dismiss me in as terse a way as possible, and that pissed me right the fuck off.  i don't need to be your friend, but if you can't answer a question in a way that the asker finds useful, just say that off rip and i will keep it moving, more or less.  so, i have nothing really to say to this person any longer.  my way of dealing with people who get in my perimeter and show themselves to be nuts is to just leave them at the edge of things and get on with my life.  Facebook is not the center of my world, and it is not reality as i've learned to understand reality.  so i am inundated by it, but not drowning in it, thank heavens.  i don't need to 'unfriend' anyone, i don't need to delete comments nor do i need to argue my perspective.  i just leave it where it is, and keep living.  best way i know to do this life. 

so, today i did okay.  ate cool, prayed and read and took my  meds.  i worked and made my parents pancakes for breakfast.  i have eaten dinner, i've cleaned my kitchen and downstairs bathroom and really just need to sweep my living room floor.  Deja should be here tomorrow evening and Syd should be here on Saturday.  so i don't want to do my weekly cleaning; i intend to have Deja help me with the basement.  few hours, we should be done with the bulk of it and then i can again move on with my life.  but i had a good enough day, and i'm glad that it's moving toward its conclusion now.  i thank Jehovah for breath and perspective, and i pray for my driver, that she may heal and be well soon.