so i didn't write yesterday, the exhaustion still creeping upon me. though i did better yesterday, having more energy and getting some things done, i didn't have 100 percent by a far sight. so when i got up and got moving, it was mostly just to have my body in motion. i said my prayers and took my meds but did no readings. i was up early as well, far too early, and watched some television until the sun came up.
i did wash clothes, did clean my downstairs but not thoroughly. i did finish my soup, did a trip to the store for some things for my dinner yesterday, but i didn't get the house completely done. i've still not been back to my parent's house, but i've talked to my mother several times and will go by tomorrow.
i ate less disciplined than i had been in the previous month. i see that as problematic. i am trying to get back on track, but it's always easier to stay disciplined than to restore discipline. i think the loneliness has something to do with it. i had to slightly derail dinner company yesterday, as i was feeling ways i know better than, response to the empty house syndrome i'm dealing with now. not 'empty nest', empty HOUSE, for this is not my nest, unless i am a starling or a crow, and it is still without a voice...often lacking even my own. so i need to start working on real changes here, beginning with my attitude and showing it through my actions. otherwise, i'm one bad decision away from completely restoring my madness. also have to log at the Dining Room today, can't keep neglecting that.
i'm thankful to Jehovah for waking me today, and looking forward to the day ahead.
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