today was a rough day but a good day. i woke up in pain, ankles and feet. i felt it was karma more than anything; having called off work the day before, i figured i had called upon myself a discomfort/pain to balance out the excuse for not coming to work. but i knew i had to get my shit together in order to be okay to work today. so i prayed, twice in fact. one false start and one real prayer. and i got my meds in after i could get up and move around. i moved in a straight up and down track. i went down the stairs, saw my mom, put on coffee for myself and made my way to the basement. i took my meds in the basement, my insulin and some Colcrys to combat the gout/neuropathic flare-up, and then i made my way back up the stairs. i made myself some eggs and toast, washed up the few dishes, had a cup of coffee, left the rest on warm to take to work with me later. i went in the living room, watched The Rifleman for a bit, brought in stuff so i could shave my head and face while watching an episode and then took a shower. then i made my way back up the stairs to chill until time to go.
i had nothing for lunch in the house, wanting to avoid the whole lunch meat/uric acid syndrome as much as i could. so i left for work much earlier than usual, went to the Eagle to purchase my dinner for work and then to Pizza Joe's to have lunch while i killed some time. i ate at the pizza shop, thinking about Rachel and things in general. then i made my way across town. i got to the work lot by 3 and just chilled, not knowing whether my message of call off had been received, not knowing whether i even still had a job.
turned out i did, but one of my immediate supervisors did not. the Residents have been busy preying upon the staff, and i'm afraid there is more to come. but other than that bit of bad news, the day was cool until the end, when i had to write up 3 residents for shooting craps in a back room. now, i personally don't find such activity harmful, though i see it as ridiculous, but it is against the rules. and i have caught them, some of the principals, at it before, and gave them a warning...ONE warning. they tend to not believe such a thing as ONE warning could exist, like most children. so this time, i wrote them up. and the thing that got me, the thing that really irritated the fuck out of me, is that they really cannot modify their actions on the basis of being treated with some dignity and respect. so, i am going to have to be hard with them. i'm going to have to hold my line, and i'm being forced to do this over and over lately. i guess it is what it is.
i also got one of the keys to my grandfather's house today. i'm going to go look inside monday, see what's what, and start the process of moving in throughout the week. i'm not going to rush; i'm just going to get in where i can, and do what i can do, and slowly turn it into a place where i can be me. that's a process, but it's one that i'm semi-sorta looking forward to.
it has been a long day. i'm grateful to Jehovah and i am blessed with life and sobriety.
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