well, this wasn't a bad day for the most part, but it could have been a much different day. i'm not complaining, and I am in fact very grateful. i'm just thinking that if people really gave a damn about each other instead of the concept 'each other', the world would definitely turn smoother. but that's not my responsibility. i was nowhere when God created the earth.
i slept in today, woke still hurting. foot pain, neuropathic/gout flare from the day before. i struggled with cramps in my legs all day, but had no intention on calling off. my mind was likely working at that point, but i can't say for sure. i got up, said my prayer and got it moving. i went down the stairs, fixed my mom coffee, went to the basement, took my meds and came up to make breakfast. made a ham, pepper and cheese omelet, split it with my mother with toast and then cleaned my dishes. i watched a bit of television before i came back to the attic to sleep for a bit longer. i wasn't sure if i was going to the meeting before work today, a work training thing. i'm pretty tired of the whole deal of letting someone tell me in a passive way that i'm fucking up so they can meet the criteria for their own job bonus. but in the end, i got dressed, got some dinner for the evening and cheap lunch for the ride and i went to my job. i got to the meeting late, but i did get there.
it was as foolish as i imagined. i put on my scowly face and was left alone through most of it. then i tried to get to the shift change meeting in my building, but was inundated with individuals who were trying to gain access to our facility. pain in the ass, so i started with a whole bunch of drama. finally i made it to my side, and it did not abate then either.
events that made the day harder: ban enforcement on water bottles for residents, strip searches for drugs that netted nothing, tramadol abuse by some of the residents, constant barrage of calls, failure to have some flexibility between a staff member and a resident... just tension for tension's sake. i got through it, obviously, and the day dragged on. i took care of what i could, talked to some residents about some tomorrow stuff and staying focused on today.
i came home, after talking to Lonnie i fixed a small plate, ate, said good night to my mother and went to bed. which is where i am now. i figure to sleep, get up, get some cleaning supplies when i go to the store for my dinner stuff, and get ready for wednesday, should that day come. it's time to work on the house. TF has not contacted me with an estimate. i truly have no one to call to help me very much so i have to help myself. i can do it; i don't WANT to do it, but it can be done. to that effect, i've taken some days off work, leave of absence type thing. i'll get done what i can, and then i'll get back into my routine. or if i've found another job by then, i'll move on. not complicated. it's better than bailing and it may just help restore my sanity. either way, i thank my Father for the notion and for this life, and am about to let this gabapentin do its thing and drag me down into sleep. ciao.
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