early edition

it's Friday morning.

specifically, it's not even five o'clock on Friday morning.  i am tired.  sleep did not come easily and did not last anywhere near long enough.  i am tired.  my head hurts from lack of sleep.  i am waiting to take my father to the hospital for his colonoscopy.  this is going to eat up the part of my day where i'm not working.

i have to call TF today, to finish some details concerning the cleaning of my grandfather's house.  i still find it funny to think of it as HIS house, and not my grandPARENTS, per se.  as my grandfather outlived my grandmother by 10 years, i guess that would be the reason.  anyway, i also have to start looking at some help in moving things around and out of the house.  i hate to do it, but the only way the house is going to survive is to do repairs and restorations.  there are Huuuuuge holes in the dirt at the foundation of the house, and i wonder if that means something large has burrowed into the basement.  we bombed the house yesterday, and i'll have to bomb again tomorrow probably, go in and close the upstairs windows and set off a couple more.

i feel okay, other than being tired.  it's nice that my feet aren't hurting.  it's cool to have had my boss call and tell me they would like me to stay.  i'm sure that's pretty common practice unless you're a complete tool or moron, but its still nice.

i keep thinking about Rachel, of course.  i would love to see her face in person, but i am going to keep it moving.  whatever is ahead of me is what i need to find, and if Rachel is ahead of me i'm going to run into her up the road a'pace.  as i told her once upon a time, if it's God's will for us to be together, that's going to happen no matter what.  if it's not, then we won't.

Syd called last night, but i didn't answer.  figured since i've not heard from her in the days she's been back, or weeks, or whatever, i'm not under any onus to leap to her call.  i'll text and see what she wanted later today.

i said my prayer.  i have my medicine and insulin and a book.  i'm going to sleep when i get there, after i eat and take my pills, no matter what my dad thinks or says.  i have 8 hours of work tonight, and i don't intend to sleep through them.

doubt if i'll get back to this later, so i wanted to catch some feelings in black and white before i go.  Thank you, Jehovah, for open eyes and mobility.