...Evolon...

haven't really felt much like taking pictures lately, but i decided to try to capture my mood as of late, and of course that's not very hard to do.  somewhere in my cloud there's a picture edited as this one is, with the caption "...evolon..." in the lower left corner, and that is the perfect representation of where i am right now.  half in darkness, sad in the light, lonely as a motherfucker and trying to just keep putting my feet on the ground, one after the other.  it's something else, to be sure, to keep moving so that sadness and depression don't overrun your body and overtake your soul.  am I winning?  hard to say...

so yesterday i was sick also.  i decided i was not going to work.  it wasn't the hardest decision to make.  at work on Sunday my bowels were liquid and my stomach was an earthquake.  my pants did not appreciate it at all.  need i be more graphic?  thank you.  and waking up was okay, and i had a very light breakfast, but it started again as soon as i was on the road to get bloodwork done for my doctor.  so i finished the bloodwork, i went to Big Lots for coffee and Gabe's for a couple new shirts.  then i came home and went to bed.  i called my job at 11, but couldn't get transferred into my boss's voicemail.  so i tried again at noon, to be told my boss wasn't coming in that day.  i was glad then i hadn't gotten rid of her cell phone, though its not in my phone.  i text her my problem and plan, and she told me i'd need documentation, so around two i went to North Side to the ER.  they said i have a stomach virus, though i'm pretty sure it's food poisoning.  i did manage to eat some when i woke up again about 6pm, and i drank more water.  i've been sleep, off and on, for the past 24 hours.  i have to do this last day at work.  i don't anticipate any more trouble than usual, but i always anticipate trouble, if that makes any sense.

tomorrow i'm going to take care of my business.  tomorrow, as a vow to myself, i'm making my payments, going to see my grandfather's house and starting to gather my things up here.  i've got to see what i need to do to get the utilities turned on, and figure what i'm going to do for furniture, what i WANT to do for furniture.  i think i want one television, but only because i've still got my Roku, and with wifi that's about all the tv i'll need.  it's going to be a lot of house for one person, but my grandpa did it.

oh, and i'm thinking i may get a dog.  i've been thinking about that as well.  my grandfather had a dog, and he loved that dog more than he loved most people.  i think i may just do that.  but we'll see.  it's not on God's tablet just yet, i don't believe.  or if it is, God hasn't told me so yet.

Thank you, Father, for watching over myself and my family.  thank you for the day.