prep time

i believe it will be beneficial to start focusing on the move coming.

but that doesn't neglect the current status of the journey.

at the moment, i'm about to get ready to get bloodwork done.  i woke up at 6 to an alarm i still am not responding to, an alarm to get up and go to the gym.  it would help, i'm sure.  but there's still something in me that's not right, and i've got to dig it out and get on with the business of doing business again.  but i'm up.  i'm going to say my prayer.  i'm going to get dressed and get ready to go to Warren to my doctor's office for bloodwork.  i don't feel like it, that's for certain.  i spent yesterday with my stomach churning, with my ass leaking and with my temperature up. figure it could have been something from McD's, something from Bob Evans even. or it could have been the stress of being on alert in a new hostile situation at work.  not over the top hostile.  just the born resentment that is cultivated when i do my job.  i had to write up some gamblers on Saturday, and one of them has taken it personally.  i can live with that though.  but my stomach apparently had different feelings.

anyway, the day will move forward.  i'll have one more day after this.  i'm going to start bringing my clothes downstairs today, i believe.  i'm going to go see my grandparent's house either today or tomorrow.  and on wednesday or thursday i'm going to start moving stuff in.  i have to get the utilities turned on.  i have to decide what i'm going to do about internet.  i've got to decide to get back to working on Z-Phyles.  but i'm going to have this done by the end of next week.  and then i'll know what the next step is.

it's funny.  it's like a bad place in a familiar road.  you get used to swerving to miss the huge pothole, and the longer it goes unfilled, the more unconscious the swerve becomes.  eventually, you come to that place in the road and you don't even think about it, you just avoid the hole.  and when it's filled, you continue to drive around where the hole used to be for a long time.  i think that is the survival instinct of a broken heart.  cost you some tire integrity, cost you some strut and rack and pinion stability, but if you survive it, you adapt, you adjust...you swerve.  and you get used to it.

at least i hope that's the case.

Thank you, Father, for the birth of today and the inclusion of me in it.