strange things

a good day, and a strange one all at the same time.  i won't complain.

i got up with prayer, right on the button.  alarm had to wake me up.  i stretched, i got dressed, i made a cup of coffee and i put on a fresh pot.  i went to the gym.  i came home and had breakfast.  i got dressed.  i prepared to go to the store but i got trapped in the driveway by a truck that was trimming the trees by the wires in the yard.  i didn't get out until ten.  i went to the store and to my parent's house.  i got supplies and Rachel texted to let me know she was free.  i went to pick her up, came back to put groceries away and went to lunch.  we hung out for the rest of the day.  that was nice.

we talked about things.  i don't feel she did a full disclosure but that's okay.  it felt right, and it wasn't strained at all.  she is super-busy, as i knew she was, and she is still going through things, which i also knew.  i took her to pick up a prescription and to get her daughter from work and took them home.  i talked to my baby brother on the phone.  he is doing rough, apparently having been abstaining from drug use and recently relapsing.  i tried to offer him an ear and what encouragement i could but i admit i felt bad, not even having known he was struggling or had come to see himself an addict.  being wrapped up in self always sucks.

i guess i'm thinking about whether i'm really listening for God's voice or am i still hiding in self will.  i did turn down the Life Fleet job.  i know i need to be more secure in my health before taking on a driving job.  but i haven't heard from anyone else yet.  i am not rushing, i will practice what i preach, but i know that time is limited.  i have to maintain faith.  i know there is something good coming, and i want to be ready for it.  i am grateful for the day.  my back still hurts.  i guess it could be more than just a backache.  we'll see tomorrow.  thank you, Father.