No more Vegathons...

you live and you learn, if you pay attention.

i got up and prayed and read my books and took insulin and meds and worked on a song.  i worked on the song, with intermittent breaks, from about 6 in the morning until 2 in the afternoon.  then i got into trying to veg out again.  i can only tell you that it's not what it used to be.

i've eaten and i've rested and i've talked to Lonnie and Rachel and i've eaten some more and i've talked to my mother and tried to call Patrice, as her dog died and she's very sad right now.  i tried to watch 2 movies but neither of them gave me any satisfaction.  my back has been hurting me all day, and i am contemplative to such an extent that laying on the couch is not relaxing.

what i've learned is this:  certain things bear a resemblance to certain other things.  like, laying in my house, alone, watching movies, eating things that i'm not hungry for, is almost identical to depression.  i'm not depressed.  i am only acting in ways that i do when i'm depressed.  with the exception of creating.  i love creating.

so. i'm about to shut it down.  tomorrow, should i be blessed with awakening, i am going to the Kingdom Hall.  I am going to my CA meeting.  i'll take Rachel her gift.  i'll come home and eat sane food and watch sane television without trying to overdose on it.  and i will be ready to do second interviews at both JCC and Retail Data.  life goes on.  holding on to calendar pages flying away will give your soul horrible paper cuts.  take it from me.  thank you, Father.