sunday momentum

pretty sure the picture is from yesterday and not today, but it is just an affectation this time, so it doesn't matter.  it's kind of how i feel, sort of drained and listless, so i push on, because the worst is yet to come.

i got up and said prayers and put myself in motion, but i had nothing pressing to do.  i was going to go to my mom's house early and do clothes, but i wasn't feeling that frisky.  i did get over there around 9, 10 maybe.  i had my meds and breakfast, i cleaned my dishes, and i thought about what would be for dinner.  i had to get money to make up the meeting bag, money for Syd since the child support card hadn't loaded yet and i needed to get to the store.  the last didn't happen today, but things still got done.

i'd decided i wasn't going to the meeting but i changed my mind and went anyway. no reason, just not feeling it today.  but i know that i'm right up the block from November, and that's not the point to start letting inertia get ahold of me, so i keep it moving.

i washed clothes at my parents and napped while my mom listened to the Watchtower lesson at the Hall on the phone.  i took my stuff home, got it in the dryer and got the steak i got from my parents prepped for the oven.  cooked it frozen on low and seasoned and wrapped in foil so i could figure what to do with it when it was tender and cooked.  then i fixed a cup of coffee, put the steak in the oven, turned off the dryer and went to my meeting.

i took the rest of the white chili and the corn bread with me to give to whomever was hungry.  we only got about 6 people today, so it wasn't bad but i brought most of the chili and corn bread home.  i hadn't heard from Rachel and couldn't catch Lonnie so i got some food from McD's and came home and ate and dried clothes and worked on dinner.  i also put the chili in a small container in the freezer, so i got it for next time i want it.

i made smothered steak, dressing (with the rest of the bacon honey jalapeno corn bread) and collard greens.  i ate, i have watched some tv, fucked around on facebook and thought about what i need to get done tomorrow. i have listened to Bill Withers and Curtis Mayfield and John Lennon, and they fit together surprisingly well.

i feel the hollowness developing, but i have a lot to fill it with.  if i dare.  if i have the courage, if i have the goddamn intelligence.  it's going to be a fun fight.  Thank you, Father, for 27 good years so far.