Okay, so today was a good day, but today brings with it a new Orbit, a need for some new direction. I am glad to say that I feel as if I am on the verge of great things, great changes, and a great new foundation being laid atop the old. That is what I am aiming for. Perhaps the orbit itself won't be different, but there are new coordinates and therefore the journey must take on a depth and a gravity that hasn't been there in quite some time.
First, the recap. I woke to leg cramps and sips of milk to deal with them. I woke early but laid in bed until i needed to get up and i said prayers and got myself moving. i had plans to go to the Kingdom Hall with my mother, but when I called her i found she was going to just stay in,wasn't feeling up to par. I told her I'd come over after I was done with my stuff. I washed dishes, took meds and insulin and i had breakfast. i took a shower, washed my hair, got dressed and got my stuff together and made my way to the Hall. I enjoyed the talk, and I enjoyed the Watchtower lesson. I enjoyed seeing friends and family that I don't get to see unless i go there, and that was a good thing also. Then I made my way to a Family Dollar, where i purchased a flavored water, a bag of pork rinds and a pair of cheap sunglasses. i went to my meeting, speaking to Lonnie briefly before i got there. the meeting wasn't bad, and it wasn't a long chapter. Matt brought his suit and tie and i stayed afterward and shot the video and images I needed of him for the Old Lazarus video. I called my friend Karl after I left the meeting but he didn't answer so i went to my parent's house. My mom was down in the dumps and i ate lunch there and talked with her for a bit. i tried to offer her some encouragement, and i enjoyed just spending time. I waited until my dad got in and i talked to him as well and put alarms on his phone for the 30th of next month when he's supposed to speak for me at our anniversary meeting. then i came home, got ready for when Karl came by and played on the computer for a bit.
Karl came by and I got the video i needed of him for the Old Lazarus spot as well. I now have to flesh out the rest of it and then collect the rest of the shots that i need. i fed Karl and myself, we talked about music and mixing and some other things and then he left. the plan now is to wash the dinner dishes, get my ass back into my room and get ready to go to sleep so i can get up and hit the gym in the morning. I hope to collect the rest of the shots that i need, and i hope that i can get it all done tomorrow so i can start working on editing and composition. it's going to be a good thing.
now, about this new trajectory. My new cardiologist has given me hope. I could be getting much better, but i am still improving. I thank Jehovah God for that. But i have to do my part. I've been gaining weight again, because i've been all over the carbs lately. part of it is internally suppressed frustration, the slowness of these pre-sales, the encroachment of November has the depression on the edge of my reality as well. BUT...according to this cardiologist, according to my records, i'm not showing signs of the congestive heart failure that i was 10 years ago. now, i'm not sure how or why, so i'm thanking my God for this. but i know that i can get back to being sick, i can fly a holding pattern until something else falls off, or i can work toward getting better.
so, i'm taking curtain number three. my goal is to drop about 75 pounds by the end of spring, 2017. i am going to start tomorrow with the elimination of carbs at all but one meal. that is going to help. i'm going to get serious about getting to the gym and working out. i am going to start training. i'm going to format a schedule for myself and attempt to adhere to it. getting up, saying my prayer, doing my reading, taking my meds, eating appropriately, editing, writing, exercising, working on music. putting in an application a day. making the calls i need to make. getting to meetings. getting to the Hall. I'm going to work in developing a better work ethic, better habits. and see what comes of trying to structure myself more rigidly in my own best interest.
One of the lessons today was about not 'letting your hands drop', or strengthening your hands. in biblical terminology, that is about remaining steadfast in a task, for the most part. the first example was of Moses raising his staff of God during a battle and the Israelites winning until he would weary and his hands would drop and they'd start to lose. and Aaron and Hur put a stone under Moses for him to sit on and held his hands up along with him until Israel prevailed. Now, i think that's cool. but i think this too. in boxing, one thing a fighter works on, maybe more than any other, or at least more important, is endurance. one of the ways you can tell when boxer is running out of steam is when his hands begin to drop. it means he's no longer protecting himself, he's not really guarding himself nor is he in a particularly good position to punch or counter-punch. he's getting hit a lot, and he's taking a lot of punishment. i feel like i need to start working on endurance. i'm in the later rounds of my life now. i have some rounds to go, and i want to finish strong. i want my hands up, catching blows, deflecting, sticking my jab and setting up my hooks. i want to fight til the end, in other words. and I think, if i change some things, recalibrate, i can make it and maybe, God's will be done, win in the end.
it's worth putting in the work, by any means.
thank you, Jehovah, for a wonderful day.
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